Shooting Star

I am delighted to write that Angel and I are expecting another little one! When I told my sister this she said, "When I imagine your children coming to you I imagine shooting stars!" Although at times with Ignacio it felt more like an astroid I thought it was a great image. This little shooting star in me now is burning bright and due to shine for all the world to see in March. We ask that all those we love and who love us hold this little light in their thoughts and prayers as it does the work of growing. Burn bright little light!

Road Trip

So I am laying in bed thinking about what we should do for the Fourth of July when it dawns on me...we should go see my grandma! Within four days the plans are made and the suitcases are out. I decided to let Ignacio pack his own and apparently his Sit 'n Spin, truck and one of Angel's sandals were high on the priority list. Needless to say I packed for him.

No, we are not at a State Park....that is my family's backyard! Here is Ignacio helping Aunt Mary feed the coy. He thought that was so great that the arms were flapping and the body was tensing (Ignacio's signature excited stance) and loved the kitties and puppies too!

Here are grandma and I in the backyard. She gave me a walking tour of each section. Her hostas are beautiful and the garden is like an oasis. Ignacio loved finding all the little statues of animals. Thank God most of them were plastic!

We went for a walk by Lake Michigan and it wasn't until this time that Ignacio FINALLY took a nap. An overtired child, fresh air and movement = a perfect combination for sleep! Who wants to sleep at Great Grandma's house with all the excitement?

Aunt Mary and grandma bought the daddy of all sprinklers and Ignacio had a blast. Grandma just sat in the backyard and laughed as she watched him run around smiling and screaming with joy. As I watched Ignacio's bare feet run around the lawn I was so overcome with happiness that he was having the experience I so often had as a kid with grandma...fun with water and no rules on a hot summer day.

Summer Lovin'

Since staying at home with Ignacio we are really enjoying the summer. On nice days we are outside most of the afternoon and on rainy days we head to Barnes and Noble or a mall to run around and make a mess. It is so nice to have a pool on your roof and, while some days we miss having a backyard we make it a point to get to all the parks we can. Ignacio loves it when there are other kids at the pools and parks. He screams and gets excited thinking that he too is in on the game of tag the 7 year olds have going on. It is so fun to watch his little eyes as he observes the other little ones and big ones. But, he is a momma's boy. If anyone gets too close he says, "Mama" and slowly makes his way over to me. At one wading pool he fell face first in the water and popped up, made his way for the edge and said, "All done." I love a kid who knows who he is and what he wants!

Playing in Auntie's backyard with Cousin Addison. The boys are so cute this summer. While their personalities are so different they respect and love each other just as much as we love them.

We went to a bbq at a friend's house who had kids and turned around only to find Ignacio had found goggles and a toy. Our kid has PERSONALITY!!! Not a dull bulb in this box!

Num Num is what Ignacio says now when it is time to eat. He also says, "hambre" which means hungry in Spanish. His language is taking off so fast. He can now say two to three words together and his little brain is just ticking trying to put new things together. Here are some of his cutest statements thus far:

All Done Ni Ni = I am waking up now and done sleeping.

Bye Bye stink stink= I am flushing the toilet now.

Otro Ni Ni = Time to go to bed again. Otro means "another" in Spanish.

Ni Ni Picho= Good night penis. We call it a Piripicho in Spanish. For some reason he has to say good night to it.

Hanging with my cousins at the pool. Cookie anyone?

Ways you know your little baby is turning into a big boy:

1. He has grass stains and holes in his jeans.
2. He says "boobie" in reference to nursing. Oh no!
3. His size 7 sandals that we bought two weeks ago already almost don't fit.
4. He has hair growing on his legs.
5. He can tell you with words when he is hurt, tired, hungry and thirsty. FINALLY!

LOVE

I remember the day Angel received the call. He was offered the job at Cargill. I remember it because it was like three out of the four chambers of my heart rejoiced at the thought of not being home alone with a seven month old insomniac four days a week. And the fourth chamber? The fourth chamber went straight to the question, "Who will take care of Ignacio?" As I paused in silence the answer came swiftly, "Someone who loves him."

As I sat in my office, my feet propped up on the desk after pumping between sessions, I chatted with my sister on the phone. What was I going to do? Would I stay home? What about daycare? By then end of the ten minute conversation an agreement between sisters was made. She would watch him. Why? Because she loves Ignacio. My heart smiled; all four chambers.

I also remember the first day I dropped him off. Krista had already designed a blog, soon to be the envy of fellow working moms at my office, so I could check-in from work. The play room was set up and Addison was small but waiting. As I set the milk I had so diligently pumped for the day in the refrigerator, I took a deep breath. It was going to be okay. As I kissed Ignacio on the top of his head as I said goodbye I felt the sadness well deep in my chest, making its way quickly to release in the form of tears from my eyes. As I looked up at Krista she didn't try to make it better or change the script that was written in my heart. She let the moment be, with tears in her eyes too.

And so the journey began. There was the routine stuff, like pulling up the driveway of the house with Ignacio's hands flailing in the backseat with excitement, eating breakfast with Addison as Ignacio got all the music toys going at the same time, my eyes on the clock so I wouldn't be late for work, and finding a face of exhaustion after all the fun he'd had at the end of the day. And there was the not-so-routine stuff, like the first time Ignacio said "auntie" and watching Addison and Ignacio learn to dance together, give each other "besitos" and learn to share and not swat.

As I scurried between sessions at work I never once worried about Ignacio. I always knew that he was safe, cherished, seen and heard. I knew this because the person taking care of him loved him. She had a relationship with him and, more importantly, has one of the strongest relationships in the world with me.

And so the journey ends this week, almost one year later. Many things have changed. Ignacio now picks his toys to bring to Auntie's and walks himself to door. His lunches come in Ziplock bags, Tupperware and an adult lunch bag. There have been days I haven't been able to get out Krista's house fast enough, eager for the 25 minutes of solace as I drove to work by myself, and days that I have struggled to leave, even after months of dropping him off.

But one thing has not changed...love. I am forever grateful to Krista and Addison for sharing their days with Ignacio along with their patience, wisdom and kindness. You have both helped to raise my baby boy and for that there are no other words but, from the bottom of all four chambers of my heart, "I love you."

1.5

Ignacio is one and a half years old! For his "half-birthday" mama and Ignacio packed a yummy picnic and went to two parks and went swimming in one lake and one pool. To mark the occassion papa attempted his first official commute to work on his bike (a '77 Schwin), which he achieved! (It's like 24 miles one way people) In just six months I will be sitting hear talking about my two year old toddler and all that he brings to my life, but for now he is still my baby boy whose butt looks small in diapers and who still teeters around babbling. He can still get away with throwing his snack crackers around the living room rug and intentially tipping his sippy cup upside down as to create a puddle which he quickly sticks his feet in. The word "no" is acquiring more meaning as he equates it with meaning the opposite of "yes".

We experienced our first "night terrors" with Ignacio last week and, let me tell you it is something freaky. I was about to pray a rosary and you all know how long its been since that has happened! After researching them the next night I realized we did everything wrong like try to hold him, attempt to comfort him and say his name. I guess the hugging him while singing his name prolonged the fiasco. Good news...he won't remember it...bad news...he will if he goes to regression therapy.

This is my last week of working during the day and I am about to embark on a new adventure along with Ignacio, Addison and Krista. All of our weeks are about to look very different with me staying at home full-time with Ignacio. We are all connected in such a special way that I am sure not much will change... except I won't leave two crying boys plastered up against the bay window at Krista's watching me as I hop into my car and ask myself, "Why am doing this again?" Although I am sure I will ask myself that question a million more times in a million more ways in my life.

Sacrifice

What can an MBA say about a man? I can tell you what it says about Angel. It says he has the unlimited capacity to take enormous challenges and chances not for himself, but for our family. It says he can stay up all night patiently with a fussy newborn and write a paper the next day. It says he can make sacrifices to achieve his dream without ever making his family that sacrifce. It says he can be exhausted and frustrated but never an exhausted and frustrated husband or father. It says that he is strong, but most importantly, WE are strong.