We weren't enough.

Rock Solid

Ignacio has a rocking sense of humor only, what is making me laugh these days are the moments he isn't trying to be funny. Last night I served Ignacio Thai Peanut sauce to eat with his chicken and he scrunched up his nose and asked, "Is that poop?" I just responded, "Mommy would never serve you poop for dinner."

Earlier in the week we went for our usual walk around our colorful neighborhood and he bent over and found a rock. He exclaimed, "A ROCK!!!" to which I said, "Yes, a rock!!" He decided that it was too important and precious to be left on the sidewalk and so worked extremely hard to fit it into the tiny pocket of his jean shorts. When we got home we found a special spot for his rock. Later that afternoon we went swimming and I put his swim diaper on and his swimming shorts and then went to get the other little munchkin ready. On our way to the pool I noticed him grabbing himself and asked what was up only to look in his shorts and see he had put the rock in his diaper....logical because his shorts didn't have pockets. How else do you carry your beloved rock? I gently explained that we should put it back in the special rock spot. He agreed; only because I think it wasn't too comfortable. Putting a rock in your shorts is probably one of those ideas that sounds good at the beginning but turns out not to be.

Today Ignacio gave Emilio his FIRST gift, especially picked out by him with no prompting by mom. It was a rock. Some may say it lacks sentiment but I think it was a thoughtful gesture.

Today

Today I see you. I see your deep brown eyes. The way your tan hands make your white nails shine. The little hairs on the back of your neck. Your beautiful white teeth. I see the curl of your little ears. The slope of your nose. I see the roll on your ankle. The brillance of your two white teeth. Today I see you and I love you.

Toddler Moments

Angel: "What is your name?"
Ignacio: "Angel Ignacio Cisneros."
Angel:"What is your brother's name?"
Ignacio: "Emilio David Cisneros."
Angel: "What is papa's name?"
Ignacio: "Papa Cisneros."

Ignacio LOVES to say "show mommy" whenever he wants me to see what he is doing. He says it about 150 times a day. The other day he was ON my back and said, "Show mommy" as if I would somehow miss what he was doing.

We repainted our living room and were SO excited about the color scheme we picked out. At Home Depot it was the "Classic Elegance" color combination: a dark chocolate brown and a light khaki color. As we popped the can open and poured it into the pan, Ignacio stood by with excitement. Angel dipped the roller in and Ignacio said with disgust, "Is that poop?" So much for elegance. According to our toddler we were painting our walls poop color.

On Strike

It has been a rough weekend. Yesterday morning Emilio woke up and decided he was going on strike...from the boob that is. He would not eat. In the morning he was practically lunging at the breakfast on my plate but the minute I would introduce the milky milky he would fuss, fuss, fuss, crying until I removed my boob from his face and arching in rejection. I thought maybe it was a fluke so I tried again...and again...and again until finally at 5pm I called the nurse line. I mean, come on. No nursing for 12 hours? This is a kid who eats every two hours like it is nobody's business. The nurse said to be patient. Later that night I went against my normal parenting rules and looked it up online, searching for support and guidance. I felt rejected. I felt alone. Nursing is something Emilio and I do TOGETHER like 1o times a day so to all of a sudden not do it was heartbreaking. Every website said the same thing...teething is probably the culprit...usually 2 to 5 days of a strike...lots of skin to skin contact in the mean time...yes, it is frustrating. 2 to 5 days????? My boobs are going to go CRAZY! 10 weeks ago his nursing strike would have been a blessing. I was praying for him to finally take a bottle and STOP nursing with a can of formula in hand and here I was practically in tears because he would ONLY take a bottle and wanted nothing to do with me. Motherhood...I tell ya! At 3am he woke up and I made my way into his room with a bottle of my milk in the frig ready for his 100th rejection of the boob. It had now been almost 24 hours into his nursing strike and there appeared to be no reconciliation in sight. I tried nursing and he refused, turning red in the face and crying with distress. "Okay, okay. I 'll get the bottle." I held him tight and put the bottle into his little mouth and his lips quickly clung around it as he sucked the milk down. I was suddenly sad and seething with jealousy at the bottle. How dare he choose you over me! Irrational I know, but it was 3am. As the milk quickly ran out in the bottle he cried in despair again, still hungry. So I did what I have done for 5 months when I hear that little cry, which was to put him to the boob. He nestled in and latched on. As his little hand moved up towards my face I put my finger out for him to clutch as he always does while eating and tears came to my eyes. "We're back," I thought, even if it is for this one moment. Today has been better. Still fussy but latching. I think we are going to be okay. I just hope we can reconcile in negotiations next time before he decides to walk the picket line.

Jack-O-Lantern

Emilio is getting his TWO bottom teeth. The right one is just through and the left is soon to follow. Four and half months. Now that's a record in our family! There is something so sentimental this time around. The sight of a tooth means that the tiny baby stage is over and he is turning into a big baby. No more gummy smiles to warm your heart, just a little jack-o-lantern to make you smile. I will probably feel the same when that little tooth finally falls out and I have to sneak the quarter under his pillow in the event the Tooth Fairy can't make it. Let's hope he isn't a biter!