Purple Madness

Out it came. The big purple elephant that Uncle Chad had bought for Addison's second birthday party swung from the metal chain attached to its back. As it was hoisted up to hang from the basement ceiling, Ignacio tensed with excitement at the big paper mache animal that stood almost as tall as him. As the kids circled around with interest Uncle Chad introduced the wooden stick for the pinata. Ignacio took a step back in wonderment as if to say, "What does a wooden stick have anything to do with this friendly elephant?" The adults in the room began to cheer as Addison was handed the stick to begin the attempt of breaking open the elephant so that its delicious insides of chocolate and toys would fall to the basement floor. Ignacio quickly grabbed a backrow seat on Angel's lap, quickly realizing that the elephant was about to be beaten repeatedly by old and young alike. As the kids took turns hurling the stick at the elephant its paper tissue fur began to fall to the carpet, only to be followed by his leg. The horror. Not only was Ignacio's friendly elephant being gang beat by humans, now it had lost a limb which the kids passed around. It was then Ignacio's turn to give it a whack. He approached the elephant and tapped it lightly with the stick, quickly turning to Angel and saying, "It's okay" but in question form. The emotion built as the elephant soon appeared to be giving in and the adults in the room screamed statements like, "Hit it," and "Harder" to their little ones who abruptly attempted to follow instructions. As the belly of the elephant tore open, the Hershey Kisses and noise makers fell to the ground and the kids scrambled with their Ziploc bags to reap the harvest of their efforts. As I looked around for Ignacio I quickly found him and his Ziploc bag on the couch where the elephant had been laid to rest, gaping hole in his side and all. Ignacio was slowly petting the elephant's head saying, "It's okay," obviously highly precoccupied for the well being of this kind purple creature. Needless to say he ended up sleeping with us that night after waking repeatedly in screams, surely dreaming of chocolate-faced children running rampant with the limb of an elephant and the species laying on the couch with a gaping hole. In the end maybe a star or balloon shape would have been better or an attempted explanation of why it appeared we were mutilating an animal such as, "There is candy inside and the only way to get it out is to hurt the elephant." All I know is that Ignacio's highly empathetic emotional attunement to our purple friend was adorable and completely unforgettable.

Look of Love

I have seen it. I know it not because I have seen it with my eyes but because of the way my body feels when the gaze hits it. Every night when Ignacio is taking his bath I pop in to say that "Mama's going ni-ni" so that Angel can finish the bath and put him to bed. His head turns up at me and his eyes become big and round and, most nights he says, "Bendicion Mama" asking for his nightly blessing or he tells me he loves me. Some nights he says nothing. But every night he looks at me so intensely that, even thinking about it gives me chills. For those seconds it is a pure connection. He does not break the stare until I do and Angel sits there in silence as if a prayer were being recited as Ignacio and I engage in this look. In that moment we are completely "plugged in". It is the feeling of pureness and love and all that is wonderful. It is a moment of being completely present with Ignacio in a way that is so powerful it is almost silly to try to write about it. Casey called it, "like being very close to the Source" and it is so true. It has become something sacred not because we make it that way but because it is.

BFFs

As I approach 32 weeks of pregnancy my best friends "nausea" and "vomiting" are back. I told them back in month 5 that they didn't need to return but, given the circumstances and the fact they made it back around 32 weeks during my last pregnancy, they thought it rude to bow out. Lovely. Good thing I have Ignacio to keep me laughing and kindly point out that they eggs I just threw up in the garbage are officially, "icky eggs". Today he picked up a toy and pretended it was a phone and called the following people within 15 mintues while walking around the house like a 15 year old, even stopping to look at himself in the mirror on numerous occassions:

Papa
Auntie
Tio
Tia
Prima
Maureen
Elmo
his nose
Big Bird
the christmas tree
chicken
Cookie Monster
a horse
a frog
Ama
his milk
a baby
Papa (again...forgot to tell him something)
his crib

When he was done he put a bucket over his head and turned on music to dance...priceless.
I love my kid and am cherishing these last weeks together just him and I, stir-crazy in the house acting like goofballs, nausea and vomiting and all...