Thursday, December 20, 2012
Impossible
It seems impossible that Christmas will come without Grandma alive. Maybe the Mayans are right.
Fantastic Five
Thursday, November 15, 2012
May I have this dance?
Angel and I have begun the ever-important journey in teaching Ignacio to dance. We are starting with Merengue. In Venezuela most kids learn to dance from birth practically and Angel distinctly remembers learning to dance at the age of Ignacio with his mom. I took that as a hint. Apparently for a little boy to learn this couple's dance they need a girl...that's where I come in. So we have begun! I decided that the initial invitation by the boy is the starting point so we have been role-playing, in English and Spanish, on his approach and extending the invitation to dance. He is a natural and even practiced his skills with Ariana, a family friend, when she was over. Hand placement, rhythm, eye contact...the list goes on. It helps that Sesame Street featured latin dancing and there was a very daper eight year old latino kid who had some MOVES! I could see Ignacio's face light up and I reinforced it by saying, "In Venezuela kids dance like that too. You're Venezuelan!" He totally soaked the concept up and by the time Angel was walking in the door we had the music blaring. What a gift from this far-away land he hasn't met in person but which clearly lives very vividly in his heart...and feet!
Friday, November 9, 2012
More fall...falling into love.
The Three Amigos. Since the boys are getting older the wrestling, Kung Foo and Ninja fighting in our house are on the rise. Angel gets home from work and it is GAME ON! Ignacio can get a little carried away once he is worked up but, for the most part, they are hilarious. Angel is equally hilarious because he really gets into it. Sometimes I think he really thinks he is a Kung Foo master. Cracks me up big time. It provides me a chance to wrap up dinner or do dishes after dinner is over. Let's be honest...It provides me a chance to do something other than be "Ninja Mom" for a second!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Enjoying the Fall
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Love
I love that...
Ignacio will randomly tell me he loves me, like last night when he said in his sleep, "I love you mommy. You're the best mom I've ever had."
Emilio only sings the last words to sentences in songs.
Ignacio will back bend his way to make Emilio content.
I can get giddy with my kids, laughing until I cry.
Even after a hard day we always find our way back to each other.
Emilio's face and hands are dyed purple after eating blueberries.
If one requests something they always request it for the other too.
Ignacio stands up for his brother at the park.
My kids easily give and accept love, not only from their parents, but from others as well.
We cuddle.
Both are connected to me but easily able to explore the world, with or without me present.
Ignacio's hair stands up in the back after a nap.
My kids are extroverts.
Emilio bites his nails.
Ignacio will randomly tell me he loves me, like last night when he said in his sleep, "I love you mommy. You're the best mom I've ever had."
Emilio only sings the last words to sentences in songs.
Ignacio will back bend his way to make Emilio content.
I can get giddy with my kids, laughing until I cry.
Even after a hard day we always find our way back to each other.
Emilio's face and hands are dyed purple after eating blueberries.
If one requests something they always request it for the other too.
Ignacio stands up for his brother at the park.
My kids easily give and accept love, not only from their parents, but from others as well.
We cuddle.
Both are connected to me but easily able to explore the world, with or without me present.
Ignacio's hair stands up in the back after a nap.
My kids are extroverts.
Emilio bites his nails.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Tidbits
The other morning Emilio was hungry so he helped himself to watermelon. I literally mean "helped himself." I came out into the living room and he had taken the ENTIRE half watermelon out of the fridge and had it on the coffee table. Why use a spoon when you have your hands? Needless to say there was a clean-up in aisle 5! Ay Emilio.
My two boys are quite squirrely lately. They spend countless hours running after each other, rolling around on the ground and screaming. Their new thing is scaring one another and I usually spend most of the day with Emilio wrapped around my legs as he laughs trying to hide from Ignacio. I am happy they get along so well, even if it can loud sometimes.
I tried to put only underwear on Emilio, which lasted 20 minutes before he was squatting out on the balcony peeing on himself. Not to mention he did it up against the screen so some of it was bound to run down the downstairs neighbors' screen. She probably thought I was watering my plants. Good Lord.
With the both the boys in toddler beds they now fall asleep in the same room and sleep the night in their own beds. It fun to hear them laughing at night as the wind down. We never thought we would get to this day but here was are!
My two boys are quite squirrely lately. They spend countless hours running after each other, rolling around on the ground and screaming. Their new thing is scaring one another and I usually spend most of the day with Emilio wrapped around my legs as he laughs trying to hide from Ignacio. I am happy they get along so well, even if it can loud sometimes.
I tried to put only underwear on Emilio, which lasted 20 minutes before he was squatting out on the balcony peeing on himself. Not to mention he did it up against the screen so some of it was bound to run down the downstairs neighbors' screen. She probably thought I was watering my plants. Good Lord.
With the both the boys in toddler beds they now fall asleep in the same room and sleep the night in their own beds. It fun to hear them laughing at night as the wind down. We never thought we would get to this day but here was are!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Picture's worth a thousand words...
Round Two
Ignacio woke up on Tuesday ready to rock and roll. First day of the last year of preschool. When I came out into the living room Angel had already dressed him and his hair was combed and his new shoes were on. He looked adorable. He insisted that Emilio be in every picture with him. He was adorable.
As we got into the preschool he found his name and made his way into the class. The kids were reading and playing and he clung to my leg for a few minutes just taking it all in. The new teacher asked if he wanted to play and he quickly joined. I approached Emilio who was already playing and told him it was almost time to go. He gave me a kiss as if to say goodbye and then I had to break it to him that he wasn't staying. Unfortunately, for him, he was going to have to leave with me every time like last year. I looked for Ignacio and found him sitting on a bench reading a book by himself and the tears came. As I paid close attention to his little back and the minature nature of his hands I realized how small he still is. I didn't want to leave him. He was too little and the world was too big but then the panic was over and I say my goodbye.
This time next year he will be gone all day to kindergarten and it will be Emilio's turn to stay behind. I pray for wisdom to continue to raise such good people who are kind, energetic and social. People who are compassionate, caring and willing to learn. Little people who will grow to be great men.
As we got into the preschool he found his name and made his way into the class. The kids were reading and playing and he clung to my leg for a few minutes just taking it all in. The new teacher asked if he wanted to play and he quickly joined. I approached Emilio who was already playing and told him it was almost time to go. He gave me a kiss as if to say goodbye and then I had to break it to him that he wasn't staying. Unfortunately, for him, he was going to have to leave with me every time like last year. I looked for Ignacio and found him sitting on a bench reading a book by himself and the tears came. As I paid close attention to his little back and the minature nature of his hands I realized how small he still is. I didn't want to leave him. He was too little and the world was too big but then the panic was over and I say my goodbye.
This time next year he will be gone all day to kindergarten and it will be Emilio's turn to stay behind. I pray for wisdom to continue to raise such good people who are kind, energetic and social. People who are compassionate, caring and willing to learn. Little people who will grow to be great men.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Grand Finale
Well, abuelo and abuela just left after a three-week stay and the kids had so much fun tackling abuelo and giving abuela sweet kisses. Our embraces were long at the airport and the grief to see them leave was strong. It felt good to have family around and we felt love and support in our parenting journey. So now I look at the calendar and we have two more weeks of summer. The grand finale!
The air is cool in the mornings and the leaves are tinged with yellow. Fall is making it's way upon us...I can feel it. My boys are beautiful and growing and changing almost as quickly as the leaves on the trees. Ignacio is tall and lean. He is smart and hyper. He is quick and active. He is kind and loving. His second and last year of preschool is coming up and we are buying his clothes (size 6 pants) and getting ready for his new experience. He will be there three days a week, a good transition to kindergarten. We are working on his whining, slowing his body down when he is upset and his focus. It is tough but we're doing it. I think school will help.
And my baby Emilio. He is getting so big. No more booster chair, no more crib for naps, no more 2T pants. He is intense and strong. He knows who he is. He is snuggly and kind. He is fire and ice. He is getting better at switching tracks when upset and the tantrums are decreasing slowly. He will miss his brother this year while he is at school. They are best friends for sure.
And Angel and I are so proud of our family. We sit at night talking and remembering. We remember how it all began with a swing on the dance floor and the hard work it took to be together. We remember the dream to have kids and raise them together as a family. We remember the love that brought us together and the love that is now manifested 1,000 times a day in our home in so many ways. And we wake up every day remembering that today will take patience, commitment and love to make it to tomorrow.
The air is cool in the mornings and the leaves are tinged with yellow. Fall is making it's way upon us...I can feel it. My boys are beautiful and growing and changing almost as quickly as the leaves on the trees. Ignacio is tall and lean. He is smart and hyper. He is quick and active. He is kind and loving. His second and last year of preschool is coming up and we are buying his clothes (size 6 pants) and getting ready for his new experience. He will be there three days a week, a good transition to kindergarten. We are working on his whining, slowing his body down when he is upset and his focus. It is tough but we're doing it. I think school will help.
And my baby Emilio. He is getting so big. No more booster chair, no more crib for naps, no more 2T pants. He is intense and strong. He knows who he is. He is snuggly and kind. He is fire and ice. He is getting better at switching tracks when upset and the tantrums are decreasing slowly. He will miss his brother this year while he is at school. They are best friends for sure.
And Angel and I are so proud of our family. We sit at night talking and remembering. We remember how it all began with a swing on the dance floor and the hard work it took to be together. We remember the dream to have kids and raise them together as a family. We remember the love that brought us together and the love that is now manifested 1,000 times a day in our home in so many ways. And we wake up every day remembering that today will take patience, commitment and love to make it to tomorrow.
No new memories
Dear Grandma,
I have been putting off writing on the blog. You were one of the main reasons I ever started it to begin with. I remember Ignacio as a baby and me writing new posts. I would wait for your phone call to tell me you had read it and you would laugh and say I was such a great writer. Now those phone calls won't come. No new phone calls will come. Today I was filling out Ignacio's school forms and it asked if there were any new events or changes in the child's life. I burst into tears as I wrote that you had died. Ignacio came to tell me something and asked what I had in my eye as he noticed I was crying. I said that they were tears. He then asked why I was sad and I said it was because I missed you and he looked at me and said you were always with me. With that he took his little hand and held it to my heart and said, "Right here." He was right. You are right here.
I was thinking today about how, this time last year, were together buying Ignacio's school clothes. The striped sweater, the blue jeans. I called you his first day and took pictures of him for you. You were so much a part of his first academic experience, just like I imagine you were a part of mine. And I missed you so much today. I wanted to call you. Emilio asked to call you two days ago. I didn't know what to say. I almost called you during the opening ceremonies of the Olympics but then remembered you wouldn't answer. I missed you then too.
I am sad to think think there will be no new memories, for me or the boys. It is hard to believe that you died. Harder to believe that there will be no time spent with you again here on earth. I miss you. I miss your laugh, your guiding hand, your love, your praise for me as a mother and woman, your touch, your wisdom. Mostly I miss you being a great-grandma to my kids. I miss Emilio walking around the house talking to you on the phone. I miss watching my kids open up packages from you. The magazines keep coming from you and I feel my heart get heavy as I set them in little extended hands. I miss getting off on Hwy. 29 with excitement that we were half-way there.
The grief is so thick for me today and the love so deep. Maybe it is Ignacio starting school or the leaves that are changing...I don't quiet know. Ignacio said on the microphone at your funeral that we shouldn't be sad because, "now we all have an angel" and, if he says it I am going to believe it. So to you my dear angel, I ask for strength and kindness and I send love and sadness into the universe with hope for healing.
I have been putting off writing on the blog. You were one of the main reasons I ever started it to begin with. I remember Ignacio as a baby and me writing new posts. I would wait for your phone call to tell me you had read it and you would laugh and say I was such a great writer. Now those phone calls won't come. No new phone calls will come. Today I was filling out Ignacio's school forms and it asked if there were any new events or changes in the child's life. I burst into tears as I wrote that you had died. Ignacio came to tell me something and asked what I had in my eye as he noticed I was crying. I said that they were tears. He then asked why I was sad and I said it was because I missed you and he looked at me and said you were always with me. With that he took his little hand and held it to my heart and said, "Right here." He was right. You are right here.
I was thinking today about how, this time last year, were together buying Ignacio's school clothes. The striped sweater, the blue jeans. I called you his first day and took pictures of him for you. You were so much a part of his first academic experience, just like I imagine you were a part of mine. And I missed you so much today. I wanted to call you. Emilio asked to call you two days ago. I didn't know what to say. I almost called you during the opening ceremonies of the Olympics but then remembered you wouldn't answer. I missed you then too.
I am sad to think think there will be no new memories, for me or the boys. It is hard to believe that you died. Harder to believe that there will be no time spent with you again here on earth. I miss you. I miss your laugh, your guiding hand, your love, your praise for me as a mother and woman, your touch, your wisdom. Mostly I miss you being a great-grandma to my kids. I miss Emilio walking around the house talking to you on the phone. I miss watching my kids open up packages from you. The magazines keep coming from you and I feel my heart get heavy as I set them in little extended hands. I miss getting off on Hwy. 29 with excitement that we were half-way there.
The grief is so thick for me today and the love so deep. Maybe it is Ignacio starting school or the leaves that are changing...I don't quiet know. Ignacio said on the microphone at your funeral that we shouldn't be sad because, "now we all have an angel" and, if he says it I am going to believe it. So to you my dear angel, I ask for strength and kindness and I send love and sadness into the universe with hope for healing.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Taking it all in...
Last night I laid next to you and took you all in. Your hair line around your face was wet from being in such a deep sleep and your sweet little freshly-bathed boy smell was intoxicating and familiar. Your pajamas were too short in the legs because you are growing so fast, so tall. I put my head on your pillow and felt your warmth and listened to your shallow breathing as you were far away in your dreams. I imagined putting my head on your broad shoulder when you are man but, in the meantime, enjoyed the feeling of your little bony shoulder under my head. As I took your hand into mine I was reminded of how small you still are. How fragile and precious you still are. And I just stayed there. In the moment that was you. And I promised myself to never forget it.
Movin' on up...!!!
In a week and a half Emilio has....drumroll please....learned to COMPLETELY put himself to bed, told me when he needed to use the toilet and actually used a BIG toilet outside of our house, and rode his tricycle.
No more sitting in the rocker while he tosses and turns/plays/sings/falls asleep. Our nights are freeeeeee. No more, "It is your turn. No it is your turn." between Angel and I at night over who will put the kids to bed. I just when in there one night and said sternly, "Mami all done silla(chair). Emilio night night like nino grande." It is moments like this you realize how much of the problem you were as the parent! Boom. He did it and has every sleep time since. AMAZING!!!!!
Then we are at the pool and he says, "Mami pee pee." and so I take him to the potty in the pool bathroom, plop him up on toilet with his little hinder teetering on the edge and he goes. Couldn't believe it!!! Ignacio deserves all the credit. If it weren't for him the training potty wouldn't even be out. Every morning and every night he goes pee pee in his little potty and we cheer and he does a victory lap around the house. I never believed in "training" and it appears he is ready. Just think of all the money we will save...I am already plotting how to use almost $100 extra dollars a month!
Then this morning we are out in front of our building and he gets on his tricycle with focus that you wouldn't believe and puts his little "sandal shoes" on the pedals and goes. He quickly crashes into a wall...but...he was pedaling. Next phase was getting the feet and steering together. He is so focused and determined that within 20 minutes he had it. He goes in reverse without wanting to half the time but he is going.
What's next? A job, getting married. Slow down Emilio. You are still my baby.
No more sitting in the rocker while he tosses and turns/plays/sings/falls asleep. Our nights are freeeeeee. No more, "It is your turn. No it is your turn." between Angel and I at night over who will put the kids to bed. I just when in there one night and said sternly, "Mami all done silla(chair). Emilio night night like nino grande." It is moments like this you realize how much of the problem you were as the parent! Boom. He did it and has every sleep time since. AMAZING!!!!!
Then we are at the pool and he says, "Mami pee pee." and so I take him to the potty in the pool bathroom, plop him up on toilet with his little hinder teetering on the edge and he goes. Couldn't believe it!!! Ignacio deserves all the credit. If it weren't for him the training potty wouldn't even be out. Every morning and every night he goes pee pee in his little potty and we cheer and he does a victory lap around the house. I never believed in "training" and it appears he is ready. Just think of all the money we will save...I am already plotting how to use almost $100 extra dollars a month!
Then this morning we are out in front of our building and he gets on his tricycle with focus that you wouldn't believe and puts his little "sandal shoes" on the pedals and goes. He quickly crashes into a wall...but...he was pedaling. Next phase was getting the feet and steering together. He is so focused and determined that within 20 minutes he had it. He goes in reverse without wanting to half the time but he is going.
What's next? A job, getting married. Slow down Emilio. You are still my baby.
Friday, June 8, 2012
On a poopier note...
First....Some other adorable things to remember about Emilio:
*Wooly Booly Wooly Booly Rockin in the round- the song we sing when lifting up his shirt and touching his belly!
*Pompi Pomps- the song we sing when he lays belly down and sticks his little butt up in the air so we push it down.
*Emilio is into imitading sounds that he hears and then says, "Asi, Mami, Asi" to make sure I got it.
Today as I was getting out of the shower Ignacio approached me with a big poopy diaper in his hands and I quickly asked, "Where did you get that???!!!" to which he replied that he decided to change Emilio's diaper. I proceeded into the room only to find Emilio UP ON HIS CHANGING TABLE and poop everywhere. It was even running down the back of the changing table onto the floor. Good Lord. Needless to say the changing table mat is thrown out and Emilio had to head BACK into the tub. Nice try Ignaico. I'll take it from here!
We hit 5 parks in 5 days!!! Bring it on summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Wooly Booly Wooly Booly Rockin in the round- the song we sing when lifting up his shirt and touching his belly!
*Pompi Pomps- the song we sing when he lays belly down and sticks his little butt up in the air so we push it down.
*Emilio is into imitading sounds that he hears and then says, "Asi, Mami, Asi" to make sure I got it.
Today as I was getting out of the shower Ignacio approached me with a big poopy diaper in his hands and I quickly asked, "Where did you get that???!!!" to which he replied that he decided to change Emilio's diaper. I proceeded into the room only to find Emilio UP ON HIS CHANGING TABLE and poop everywhere. It was even running down the back of the changing table onto the floor. Good Lord. Needless to say the changing table mat is thrown out and Emilio had to head BACK into the tub. Nice try Ignaico. I'll take it from here!
We hit 5 parks in 5 days!!! Bring it on summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Something Else
Ignacio sure is something else. I can hardly believe it but his first year of preschool is over. His graduation was last week, which I had to miss because I wasn't up and about yet. My heart broke a little but I knew that there will be more moments. He jumped out of Jenny's van with his little graduation cap on and I could hardly believe it. The next day was his official "last day" and I was a little sad. I have to admit; I had a moment. I have made some great friends with other moms with whom I have shared some really tough and personal moments with this year. I call them my "preschool friends" as a joke. When I asked Ignacio if he wanted to go back to Joyce next year he said he wanted to go straight to kindergarten. Classic Ignacio.
And so we look forward to the summer I am excited to spend the time with him and not have to worry about drop offs and pick ups, but I know he will need some major social engagement so I am paying close attention to which parks are packed with the most kids. That is where you will find us. He is a social flutter bug. Within minutes he is making a friend, running around and/or orchestrating some game with a group of often-time older kids. Emilio is usually stealing some kids sand toys on the sly or bravely defending his own.
Ignacio is on the border between school-age kid and my little boy. I can feel it. He prefers to wrestle than snuggle some days but yet still requests that we, "sleep like little kitties" together during his nap. This usually results in us falling asleep while holding each other's hands. He says the most profound things during this time. "We will be together forever." "It is important to share our love with others." "Even when I am dead I will send my love to you, just not with my body." I often doze off in amazement at what a little philosopher he is and where it originates. For a kid who has never even been to Sunday School, he is the most spiritual person I know. Grandma says it comes from me. She may be right.
He is still pretty easy to discipline. I actually can't even remember the last time I had to put him in a cool down now that I think about it. He still goes through anxious phases when he is scared of a certain part of our house or of being alone. We got through the last one by him putting on his super hero cape and saging the house with smoke, directing it to the places of the house that most freak him out. I even let him hold the burning sage so he was REALLY in control of cleaning out all the "scaries" and it seemed to work. We just roll with it. He rarely comes in our bed anymore but when he does we know it is probably for a good reason. We just roll with it. It can be frustrating and overwhelming but we are able to deal with it when it comes up, which is a rarer occurrence with the passing time. We just recognize and honor that he is a pretty "tuned in" kid and that makes him our little one.
All in all, he is just something else. I wouldn't have it any other way.
And so we look forward to the summer I am excited to spend the time with him and not have to worry about drop offs and pick ups, but I know he will need some major social engagement so I am paying close attention to which parks are packed with the most kids. That is where you will find us. He is a social flutter bug. Within minutes he is making a friend, running around and/or orchestrating some game with a group of often-time older kids. Emilio is usually stealing some kids sand toys on the sly or bravely defending his own.
Ignacio is on the border between school-age kid and my little boy. I can feel it. He prefers to wrestle than snuggle some days but yet still requests that we, "sleep like little kitties" together during his nap. This usually results in us falling asleep while holding each other's hands. He says the most profound things during this time. "We will be together forever." "It is important to share our love with others." "Even when I am dead I will send my love to you, just not with my body." I often doze off in amazement at what a little philosopher he is and where it originates. For a kid who has never even been to Sunday School, he is the most spiritual person I know. Grandma says it comes from me. She may be right.
He is still pretty easy to discipline. I actually can't even remember the last time I had to put him in a cool down now that I think about it. He still goes through anxious phases when he is scared of a certain part of our house or of being alone. We got through the last one by him putting on his super hero cape and saging the house with smoke, directing it to the places of the house that most freak him out. I even let him hold the burning sage so he was REALLY in control of cleaning out all the "scaries" and it seemed to work. We just roll with it. He rarely comes in our bed anymore but when he does we know it is probably for a good reason. We just roll with it. It can be frustrating and overwhelming but we are able to deal with it when it comes up, which is a rarer occurrence with the passing time. We just recognize and honor that he is a pretty "tuned in" kid and that makes him our little one.
All in all, he is just something else. I wouldn't have it any other way.
No reason for this season.
Life sure is funny sometimes. It leaves you asking so many questions; so many of them without answers. Why do things happen the way they do? Is there even a reason? Am I trying to make sense out of something so senseless? Am I supposed to be more sad, more scared? What do I want to do with my time here? What is the goal? What is my purpose? What is left to be done and what is it that I need to let go of forever? Why do things happen in the order they do? Does it mean something? Is it all a sign? Are we to listen? Are we to move ahead? Where do we go? Will the answers become clear with time or do we need to have a plan? Is our family complete and who decides? Who? What? Why? Where? When?
Unforgettable
Things I don't EVER want to forget:
*Emilio's little sayings:
-Amo Mami
-Lalalu for Dinosaur train
-Daqui for Lighting McQueen
-mano for hermano
-mas arriba for higher in the swings
-allboardchoochootren the game the boys play with each other every night
-Lala for elmo
-bebe does it
-Yo!! for "I do it"
-nuggies for snuggles
-No tu for no you
Emilio is such a big boy but I feel myself holding on to him so tightly as a baby, especially considering recent events. I cry because I can't recall him as a baby off the top of my head. I don't remember every month, every moment. Some of it is all a blur because I was so sick. I want it all back. I want to live it all again with him. I know I was there but I can't remember it "like it was yesterday" and I know that today will be one of those days in the future when I long to remember him at 2 years 3 months. He is so beautiful. He is so kind. He shocks people with his politeness and he is ADORABLE. His character is strong and his throws his fits, cries and screams and you know it when he is mad. He is intense and I try hard not to just give in as to avoid WWIII half the time. He and his brother love each other. They play so well together. They snuggle. They say gracias and por favor to each other. Today Emilio fell and Ignacio requested to put his bandaid on for him. They are so wonderful in each other's lives. Emilio always thinks about his brother, always requested the thing he is requesting for his brother too. Ignacio equally wants to be like his brother. If one is in shoes and the other in sandles they will switch to both be in the same thing. If one has short sleeves on the wants that too. They are so funny that way. He is growing so fast too. He is already in 3T clothes and so long. He is healthy and strong. When he runs he looks like a 4 year old. He is fearless...he jumped in the pool without his life jacket on and after Angel fished him out he wanted to do it again. I look at him in amazement. It seems like a dream that my body made them; that they turned out okay. This time with him is unforgettable but it is sadly so easy to forget.
*Emilio's little sayings:
-Amo Mami
-Lalalu for Dinosaur train
-Daqui for Lighting McQueen
-mano for hermano
-mas arriba for higher in the swings
-allboardchoochootren the game the boys play with each other every night
-Lala for elmo
-bebe does it
-Yo!! for "I do it"
-nuggies for snuggles
-No tu for no you
Emilio is such a big boy but I feel myself holding on to him so tightly as a baby, especially considering recent events. I cry because I can't recall him as a baby off the top of my head. I don't remember every month, every moment. Some of it is all a blur because I was so sick. I want it all back. I want to live it all again with him. I know I was there but I can't remember it "like it was yesterday" and I know that today will be one of those days in the future when I long to remember him at 2 years 3 months. He is so beautiful. He is so kind. He shocks people with his politeness and he is ADORABLE. His character is strong and his throws his fits, cries and screams and you know it when he is mad. He is intense and I try hard not to just give in as to avoid WWIII half the time. He and his brother love each other. They play so well together. They snuggle. They say gracias and por favor to each other. Today Emilio fell and Ignacio requested to put his bandaid on for him. They are so wonderful in each other's lives. Emilio always thinks about his brother, always requested the thing he is requesting for his brother too. Ignacio equally wants to be like his brother. If one is in shoes and the other in sandles they will switch to both be in the same thing. If one has short sleeves on the wants that too. They are so funny that way. He is growing so fast too. He is already in 3T clothes and so long. He is healthy and strong. When he runs he looks like a 4 year old. He is fearless...he jumped in the pool without his life jacket on and after Angel fished him out he wanted to do it again. I look at him in amazement. It seems like a dream that my body made them; that they turned out okay. This time with him is unforgettable but it is sadly so easy to forget.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Talk back
Oh boy, we have hit the talking back phase. We knew it was coming at age 4 and it has arrived. Ignacio is a talker anyway. He says EVERYTHING that is on his mind. This makes talking back a bit tricky. It has taken him awhile to get what "talking back" is. For him he is just saying what is in his head; which is what he always does. But, all good things must come to an end and his habit of saying everything that comes to mind has to be curbed. It is important in life to know when to stay quiet; when to think something but not say it; when to SHUT UP. Believe me. I have wanted to say that more than once...but I don't. So, we have zero tolerance. Angel was raised without talking back to his parents and we both agree kids here have gotten out of control with talking back. Too many chances, too many excuses, too many parental statements that end in a conversation. Nipping this right in the bud. I have a feeling we will be working on this for the rest of our lives with him but he is getting the message. I can see him fighting his natural urge to continue dialogue about something but he is slowly learning to "let it go" and "hold that thought" and be quiet. Silence...was a precious gift. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Winter Wonderland Vacation
Here we are hitting the road to head north...notice the boys are already sleeping in the back!
Some pictures at the pool. We swam every day. The boys loved it. Angel and I actually were able to BOTH sit down as they jumped in and out with their lifejackets on. What a milestone!
The above picture is one of my most memorable moments of the trip. We are sitting as it is snowing and I said to Emilio, "Shhhh...listen to the snow fall." We sat, perfectly focused on the present moment and a calm came over him. It was magical.Emilio wanted to call Mama Ama the WHOLE vacation. One of his favorite games was to say, "Mama Ama" and then go to the phone, pretend to talk and then say, "Bye" and hang up. We called her so that she could talk to him. It made his day...and hers!
Ignacio went ice skating for the first time. Here he is as a serious hockey player. He mostly just wanted to sit on the ice and play. Lacing up my skates brought back MAJOR memories from being little.
Emilio dressed himself.
The boys and I pretended to be in a house under the pine tree. 
We sat under this tree after Ignacio and I hiked for 1/2 an hour in the woods.
At one point he stopped and closed his eyes, put his hands together and said, "Dear God, we won't hurt your plants." Amazing.
Our familia....Emilio is a TOTAL Papa's boy. He sticks to him like glue. We are always making sure to give Ignacio extra time because he definately has competition in the Papa Department. Angel is so good about it though and makes a special effort with both the boys. They are so loved!
Here we are at the local General Store...that is actually the name...General Store. I love it! Liquidation SALE!! Notice that Ignacio bought a top hat and sun glasses. He says he is preparing for his job as "boss" at Emilio's upcoming birthday party. He also bought a microphone. Oh boy. Emilio got glasses too as to keep up with the fashion trends...or mostly just keep up with Ignacio.
We bought the boys scuba gear at the General Store. They thought they were sooooo cool. Notice Ignacio is without lifejacket!!!!
Ignacio wore his first pair of flip flops. He is offically size 1/2 in boys. No more toddler sizes. He looked so grown up with them on I seriously had a major moment watching him walk around the pool in them. I had to take a picture. FYI He asked if he could sleep in them.
On a nature walk. Note the binoculars. Nature observing is serious business.
This is the jacuzzi tub in our room. They boys took a bath in it every night and had a BLAST!Friday, March 2, 2012
This winter has hit us hard in terms of health. Between the stomach flu, strep, runny noses, fevers, viral rashes and ear infections we have had our whoping share of not feeling well this winter. Even Angel got double ear infections, which gave me a secret glimpse into what it will be like to live with him when he is 70 years old. "What??? What??? I can't hear you??!!!" UGGHHHHH!
The kids, other than being on and off sick are growing so big and strong and HILARIOUS. As I write this we are on vacation in northern Minnesota at a resort together as a family. It is actually our first family vacation with just the four of us. No one elses schedule to follow, not worrying about what others need. It is just us; at our own rhythm. Eight day stay in a really nice condo in the woods with jacuzzi tub (which the boys used every night for their baths), fireplace (which the boys ate picnics in front of frequently), backyard (which the boys trampled around in to play in the snow) and pools galore (which we visited every day, sometimes two times a day). We did some planned activity stuff...ice skating, games, etc. but mostly we just were with eachother. Today we went into town to the General Store and it was GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! Everything was a dollar and I screamed. It made me wish my mom and sister were with me. We LOVE things like this!!!!! 33 dollars later we left with the most RANDOM things...flip flops, scuba masks and coloring books.
Angel put it best when he said that here we had our "own little bubble" this week and that is exactly what it has felt like. Our home away from home with no where to go and no one to see. I have done a lot of meditating both sitting and walking, reading (I finished three books) and a ton of snuggling with Angel and the boys. Actually, now that I think of it, we have mostly snuggled! There will be pictures to follow.
Emilio has just blossomed into his own beautiful little person. He is our baby golden boy. In fact, if you ask him if he is a big boy he says, "Uh uh...bebe!" Okay, we got it Emilio. You are the baby. He is his own being. I don't know if it happened during this trip or if life just slowed down enough for me to finally notice. He is a solid member of our family. He is strong willed, funny and talking more and more each day. He just started putting two words together and his primary language appears to be Spanish, which is enough to make any parent fighting the current to raise bilingual kids proud. The other day he said, "Papa, mira" (Papa look) and Angel and I just laughed. He concentrated so hard to put those two words together. It is such a conscious effort. He is his brother's leader and, at the same time, shadow. One minute he is poking his brother or trying to make him laugh and the next he is watching Ignacio so closely so that he can do the exact same thing. He is rough and tumble with energetic snuggles and hugs with teeth gritting and hair all wild and then he is sweet and serene, stroking your face as he gently pulls you closer to him. He is our Emilio and he is turning two. Five more days to savor every minute with him as a one year old and take him all in as he is in this moment.
Ignacio is brilliant. He is our little golden boy. His capacity for compassion, generosity and understanding is breath-taking. He is constantly talking...but mostly asking questions. "Mommy, what does "cheat" mean? Mommy, what does "equal" mean? Mommy, does Peter Pan know how to drive? Mommy, does God make things die? Mommy, did you know Emilio is my baby dragon? Mommy, what does "civilization" mean? Mommy, tell me a story about when I was born. Mommy, did your heart feel my hug just now? Mommy, are God and Buddha friends?"....on and on. All day every day. He recently made a card for his preschool teacher because she is out sick and requested that I write, "Be happy and never loose your heart" on the front. That is Ignacio. He is intense and fiery when he needs to be. He is eager to learn. The other day he called me into the room and proudly displayed his name he has written all by himself on the dry erase board. I couldn't even believe it. This vacation he swam without a life jacket. My baby, who I held next to my heart every night for the first two weeks of his life, is jumping into a pool and swimming the length of it with his own strength and coordination. I could barely contain the tears.
The best gift is the two of them together. They are the best of friends. They fight, hit each other, argue over toys and who gets to press the elevator button. They are normal brothers who fight for our attention and get jealous when one gets more than the other. But outside of those moments, which are so few, they are beautiful together. Ignacio anxiously cares for Emilio as if he is his own baby, never entering the elevator until Emilio has, never running ahead in a parking lot without seeing his brother in front of him. He is his caretaker. Emilio knows when to bend and when to stay firm in their relationship. For instance, he will hold his ground and fight yet give his brother the toy Ignacio so badly wants that he is crying . The other day I came into the living room only to find them laying side by side rubbing eachother's heads. While taking a bath together they will stop playing and just hug. It is adorable. They are partners. They seek eachother and provide for eachother in only ways that brothers could do. They are precious.
The kids, other than being on and off sick are growing so big and strong and HILARIOUS. As I write this we are on vacation in northern Minnesota at a resort together as a family. It is actually our first family vacation with just the four of us. No one elses schedule to follow, not worrying about what others need. It is just us; at our own rhythm. Eight day stay in a really nice condo in the woods with jacuzzi tub (which the boys used every night for their baths), fireplace (which the boys ate picnics in front of frequently), backyard (which the boys trampled around in to play in the snow) and pools galore (which we visited every day, sometimes two times a day). We did some planned activity stuff...ice skating, games, etc. but mostly we just were with eachother. Today we went into town to the General Store and it was GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! Everything was a dollar and I screamed. It made me wish my mom and sister were with me. We LOVE things like this!!!!! 33 dollars later we left with the most RANDOM things...flip flops, scuba masks and coloring books.
Angel put it best when he said that here we had our "own little bubble" this week and that is exactly what it has felt like. Our home away from home with no where to go and no one to see. I have done a lot of meditating both sitting and walking, reading (I finished three books) and a ton of snuggling with Angel and the boys. Actually, now that I think of it, we have mostly snuggled! There will be pictures to follow.
Emilio has just blossomed into his own beautiful little person. He is our baby golden boy. In fact, if you ask him if he is a big boy he says, "Uh uh...bebe!" Okay, we got it Emilio. You are the baby. He is his own being. I don't know if it happened during this trip or if life just slowed down enough for me to finally notice. He is a solid member of our family. He is strong willed, funny and talking more and more each day. He just started putting two words together and his primary language appears to be Spanish, which is enough to make any parent fighting the current to raise bilingual kids proud. The other day he said, "Papa, mira" (Papa look) and Angel and I just laughed. He concentrated so hard to put those two words together. It is such a conscious effort. He is his brother's leader and, at the same time, shadow. One minute he is poking his brother or trying to make him laugh and the next he is watching Ignacio so closely so that he can do the exact same thing. He is rough and tumble with energetic snuggles and hugs with teeth gritting and hair all wild and then he is sweet and serene, stroking your face as he gently pulls you closer to him. He is our Emilio and he is turning two. Five more days to savor every minute with him as a one year old and take him all in as he is in this moment.
Ignacio is brilliant. He is our little golden boy. His capacity for compassion, generosity and understanding is breath-taking. He is constantly talking...but mostly asking questions. "Mommy, what does "cheat" mean? Mommy, what does "equal" mean? Mommy, does Peter Pan know how to drive? Mommy, does God make things die? Mommy, did you know Emilio is my baby dragon? Mommy, what does "civilization" mean? Mommy, tell me a story about when I was born. Mommy, did your heart feel my hug just now? Mommy, are God and Buddha friends?"....on and on. All day every day. He recently made a card for his preschool teacher because she is out sick and requested that I write, "Be happy and never loose your heart" on the front. That is Ignacio. He is intense and fiery when he needs to be. He is eager to learn. The other day he called me into the room and proudly displayed his name he has written all by himself on the dry erase board. I couldn't even believe it. This vacation he swam without a life jacket. My baby, who I held next to my heart every night for the first two weeks of his life, is jumping into a pool and swimming the length of it with his own strength and coordination. I could barely contain the tears.
The best gift is the two of them together. They are the best of friends. They fight, hit each other, argue over toys and who gets to press the elevator button. They are normal brothers who fight for our attention and get jealous when one gets more than the other. But outside of those moments, which are so few, they are beautiful together. Ignacio anxiously cares for Emilio as if he is his own baby, never entering the elevator until Emilio has, never running ahead in a parking lot without seeing his brother in front of him. He is his caretaker. Emilio knows when to bend and when to stay firm in their relationship. For instance, he will hold his ground and fight yet give his brother the toy Ignacio so badly wants that he is crying . The other day I came into the living room only to find them laying side by side rubbing eachother's heads. While taking a bath together they will stop playing and just hug. It is adorable. They are partners. They seek eachother and provide for eachother in only ways that brothers could do. They are precious.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Merry New Year
Well, I am sitting on the couch watching the star on the top of Christmas tree flash for no reason and thinking, "Tomorrow we take it down." Oh yes, the holiday season has come and gone. Angel just ran to get a movie and our two beautiful boys are soundly sleeping. And so I sit, in a quite house and write. Here are some of the highlights of our holiday season...
*Ignacio wrote his first letter to Baby Jesus this year (well...Angel wrote while Ignacio dictated) and we placed it in the tree to wait for Baby Jesus to come scoop it up. And sure enough on December 13th in the morning it was gone. Ignacio asked for a magnifying glass, binoculars and a Spiderman that talks. He got all three.
*Emilio says "Ho Ho" anytime he sees anything Christmas related and we probably heard it close to a billion times in a month span. His little pursed lips make it one of the highlights of the season for me.
*We decided to buy our tree at ACE Hardware...I know...not the image you conjure up when imagining the experience of cutting down your tree...but...it was the BEST tree we have EVER had. As I am sitting here now I can still smell it. Only $24.95!!
*We spent Christmas in the big white house in Athens and it was amazing to watch our little ones make memories in the house Mama Ama did as a little girl. I laughed, I cried, I ate. My highlight was interviewing my grandma for the book I got her for Christmas. My respect for her only deepened learning more about her past and her hopes for me in the future.
*Angel made TWO Venezuelan meals this holiday season. The first was at Mama Ama's house for Christmas and the second was at Tia Casey's house for New Year's Eve. Amazing.
*After unpacking our bags from Athens we packed them up again to head to the North Shore to see Casey. It felt relaxing to be a warm, nurturing place where there was someone asking ME what I needed and wanted rather than being the one cooking, cleaning and tending after the little ones. I did little cooking, almost no cleaning and much reading and relaxing.
*The New Year was brought in along side my love bug Angel after a beautful meal with great people at Casey's house. We did it full Venezuelan style from the food to the traditions and grapes. It was great. The boys slept the WHOLE night both nights there!!! I was coming off a day of nausea and stomach pain but managing to feel better within 24 hours.
*Now we wait and wish for SNOW!!! The kids now have all the gear...we just need the white stuff!!! Here is hoping January will totally make up for the warm, grey month of December.
I am thankful for all the love in my life that comes to me in the form of family and friends who make my life full of life and laughter. I am thankful for the lessons of this year and the strength I have found in myself to create a healthy and safe childhood for my kids. I am sad for the losses I have experienced and continue to experience but continue to hold hope that love conquers all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
*Ignacio wrote his first letter to Baby Jesus this year (well...Angel wrote while Ignacio dictated) and we placed it in the tree to wait for Baby Jesus to come scoop it up. And sure enough on December 13th in the morning it was gone. Ignacio asked for a magnifying glass, binoculars and a Spiderman that talks. He got all three.
*Emilio says "Ho Ho" anytime he sees anything Christmas related and we probably heard it close to a billion times in a month span. His little pursed lips make it one of the highlights of the season for me.
*We decided to buy our tree at ACE Hardware...I know...not the image you conjure up when imagining the experience of cutting down your tree...but...it was the BEST tree we have EVER had. As I am sitting here now I can still smell it. Only $24.95!!
*We spent Christmas in the big white house in Athens and it was amazing to watch our little ones make memories in the house Mama Ama did as a little girl. I laughed, I cried, I ate. My highlight was interviewing my grandma for the book I got her for Christmas. My respect for her only deepened learning more about her past and her hopes for me in the future.
*Angel made TWO Venezuelan meals this holiday season. The first was at Mama Ama's house for Christmas and the second was at Tia Casey's house for New Year's Eve. Amazing.
*After unpacking our bags from Athens we packed them up again to head to the North Shore to see Casey. It felt relaxing to be a warm, nurturing place where there was someone asking ME what I needed and wanted rather than being the one cooking, cleaning and tending after the little ones. I did little cooking, almost no cleaning and much reading and relaxing.
*The New Year was brought in along side my love bug Angel after a beautful meal with great people at Casey's house. We did it full Venezuelan style from the food to the traditions and grapes. It was great. The boys slept the WHOLE night both nights there!!! I was coming off a day of nausea and stomach pain but managing to feel better within 24 hours.
*Now we wait and wish for SNOW!!! The kids now have all the gear...we just need the white stuff!!! Here is hoping January will totally make up for the warm, grey month of December.
I am thankful for all the love in my life that comes to me in the form of family and friends who make my life full of life and laughter. I am thankful for the lessons of this year and the strength I have found in myself to create a healthy and safe childhood for my kids. I am sad for the losses I have experienced and continue to experience but continue to hold hope that love conquers all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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