Emilio David

Emilio David...one of a kind. His preschool picture cracks me up big time. When I'm having a bad day I look at it. His school conference wielded comments from his teacher such as, "He is very sure of himself" and "He is autonomous."  Sounds like my Emilio. He is doing wonderfully and we are too. 

In his wake...

I guess you could say he is curious. 

Trying

Parenting can be really hard. Trying to forgive is hard, especially forgive yourself. Last night was one of those nights you wish you could have a do over. You question your parenting to the n'th degree, scrutinizing yourself for your apparent shortcomings and trying to see the silver lining of the situation; no matter how dim. You worry and wring your hands. You rewind and fast word your relationship with your kids in your head a million times. Then you get exhausted, burnt out. And you realize you can't change what already happened and you can't predict all that is to come. All you can do is look into little eyes, give tight embraces, and give kisses to the tops of heads so long you could get lost in the moment forever. You could stay there in that spot for eternity. But then the hands of the clock move and there are teeth to brush and prayers to be said and the routine lifts you back to the now. It's time to say goodnight. Maybe it's just me but I find solace in the thought there just may be another conscious parent on another comfy couch caught up in the same current. 

Moving

He's moving, he's sitting up, he's babbling while he does it, he's adorable. 

Four

Well, he's four. I can't believe it. A beautiful day with a beautiful boy. Happy birthday to one of the greatest people I know. 

Lost

Ignacio came home from school complaining his tooth hurt. When I checked, his little tooth was so loose that I could have popped it out...but I didn't. An overwhelming rush of emotion came over me. I wasn't expecting that. No one told me how emotional it would be for your first little one to loose his first tooth. When I came home from work that night Ignacio was sleeping but Angel showed me the picture. Ignacio had bravely pulled his own tooth out. I started crying. He was different.  He looked different. I remembered the white beneath his gums and that little tooth poking through so many years ago. He had placed the tooth in his special pillow Mama Ama had gotten him years ago and sure enough in the morning a dollar had appeared. At first he thought the tooth was still there and I found him crying in his bed at 5am. He thought maybe his tooth was too heavy to be taken. My baby. When he unfolded the napkin, he found that the tooth has been taken after all.