Super Size

Our new king size bed has arrived and, let me tell you, it is HEAVEN. We got it for a number of reasons...space, comfort, and the fact that the new baby will be in our room for months and maybe our other big baby too! Since its arrival, Ignacio and I curl up every day together in it for nap. Rather than power struggle my way through him screaming in his crib wanting me to be close, I've opted for the win-win situation. We both snuggle up in the midday sun and drift off, sometimes for a half hour and other times for an hour and a half. Should he wake up, he quickly realizes he is with me and drifts back off to his slumber. When his eyes finally do open we spend time just snuggling and laughing in bed. I am so thankful for these quiet moments with him, especially realizing that our world is about to change dramatically with the addition of our next precious little one. Maybe it will be all three of us crawling in bed together very shortly, but my plan is to have no plan. For now I am sleeping, he is sleeping and all is good. Good night.

One Day

One day Ignacio will realize that animals can live in other places besides our house or the zoo, like their natural habitat called "the wild."

One day he will know that you don't have to be scared of the drain in the tub because you can't slide down it.

One day Ignacio will learn that you can voluntarily go to sleep by closing your own eyes rather than staring until they close on their own from exhaustion.

One day he will learn that Big Bird is nothing more than a lifeless feathered costume.

One day he will know that not everyone is "nice" even if you call them that.

One day he will understand that wind is simply air that makes things move.

One day Ignacio will want to sleep in every day and we will be begging him to get up and get going.

One day I will be washing his socks and realize that he is almost a man as I recollect when his socks barely fit on my hand.

One day he will have an "owie" that I won't be able to make "all better" and that will be okay.

One day when flipping through the pages of his books he will actually be reading the words to me.

One day I will watch his back as he walks away from me to start his own journey....hoping he looks back one more time.

One day I will look back on these moments in my life and thank the stars, moon and comets that I was there and not anywhere else.

Grateful

Where do I begin? I am 37 weeks this Sunday and very shortly this little life will become a part of our family and a new journey will begin. The word I would use to describe these last few weeks is tired. I tell Angel every day, "I feel like I do nothing and yet still get tired." He kindly reminds me I need to "take it easy" and that I am making a human being. No small feat. I love a supportive husband. I know from my last experience that labor is a marathon and one that you have to train for, so I am not allowing myself to become lazy. I try to clean the house every day, make the meals and play with Ignacio, substituting reading or relaxing with resting when I can.

The baby is low and squirmy. The fact that soon our eyes will meet and our fingers touch is amazing. I spent most of the seventh month grieving the loss of my current relationship with Ignacio...a necessary part of the process of making space for the new little one. People who didn't understand were quickly left to the wayside in my journey, minimizing my grief as "not being excited about the new baby" which it wasn't at all. I feel momentum now and resolution of sorts when I reflect on the upcoming changes. I do not feel excitement or anxiety, fear or apprehension. I just feel. I am attempting to let the moment be, not placing any expectations on the experience. The clothes are in the baby's drawer and the crib is up but I know that this transition is much more than having the physical in place. More importantly will be the emotional endurance to meet the challenges as husband and wife, mother and father. I guess what I feel is grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to know love in a way I never have before. Grateful for the lessons learned and relationships forged with those closest to me. Just grateful.

I ask for blessings as I enter the next phase of bringing this life into the world. I am so thankful to my sister for offering to care for Ignacio while I labor. She is the closest thing to my duplicate and her ability to be in-tune with Ignacio and love him and see him for who he is in every moment is what I need to be focused and at peace while away from him. Because she is my soft, safe place to land I know it will be that for Ignacio. Thanks Krissy.

Drop it likes it's hot...

Today I unintentionally wet my pants in my kitchen. Upon returning home from a morning at my sister's house I raced onto the elevator with an intense urge to go to the bathroom. Anyone who has been pregnant knows exactly what this pressure feels like! As I got in the door, Ignacio in tow asked for a glass of water. I turned the faucet on and then felt a warm sensation down my inner thighs, only to look down to notice that, yes, the sound of the faucet had made me literally pee my pants. After a few seconds of questioning whether or not my water broke it was conflirmed that, no, I had just wet myself. This was preceded in the morning hours by a major ralphing of my waffle and two kiwis. Ah...welcome to the second half of my third trimester! Last night I think the baby "dropped" meaning it's head is down, greatly increasing the likelihood of future wetting accidents and vomiting. My days of public excursions have just been GREATLY limited. I mean, come on, how embarrassing! So, as I enter the last five weeks of my second pregnancy I look forward to an increase in loads of laundry, stocking up on plastic bags and daydreaming about how my life is about to change.