I'm just asking...

When we brought Emilio home Ignacio kindly asked if we could give him his first bath in the toilet. We kindly said, "No." Today Ignacio asked, with the crayon positioned one inch from Emilio's body, "Color Emilio?" to which I responded, "No." He then took a step back and said, "We color books" to which I kindly responded, "Yes."

Equinimity

The house is quiet. I mean pin-drop quiet. I am sitting in the living room after a good day with my boys. I feel like I am emerging from a dark, empty cave where I have been living for the past two weeks. My physical energy is increasing and my symptoms from the beloved C-Diff are subsiding. With all of that come a greater emotional capacity to handle the challenges of parenting and life in general. While my cave was quiet and dim it was lonely and heartbreaking. It just felt that one thing was coming at me after another and just as I would get my head above the water I could feel the inability to breathe again. I'm still wet but at least floating. I have tried to focus on what I am thankful for, even in the middle of the night when nothing seems to be adding up and the reasons for pushing forward appear to be dwindling at a rapid pace. I am so thankful to Angel for pulling us up and out and unconditionally picking up the pieces I couldn't even hold in my two tired hands. It has been a season of growth and a deepening of our love, even in the face of the unknown. For now we are not moving to Miami, Angel is looking for opportunities fast, my health is strengthening and we pull together resources the best we can. Am I glad it is over? Maybe the question is "Is it over?" That's the funny thing about life. It never is. There will always be the next thing, the next unknown, the next challenge and the only thing I ask for is strength and wisdom from the suffering of this experience. If there is no wisdom then what was the purpose. My compassion has deepened and that makes me a better person. The good news is that it is a beautiful time to emerge from a cave. The leaves are budding, the tulips are blooming and the wafting smell of blossoms moves through me as if to call my cells back to life. Spring is here and so am I.

Tricks Part II

Ignacio is cracking us up so much lately. He is such a funny kid. Here are some of his new tricks:

He has learned to fake cry and is having fun practicing it. Good thing: Angel and I can smell it a mile away so it doesn't work.

When you tell him to close his eyes when trying to fall asleep he squints as if to show his valient effort...I forget to say he squints for three seconds and then those big brown eyes are open again.

His BFF is his Big Bird doll. He carts that thing around all day and Big Bird is included in almost every imaginary world Ignacio creates.

Now when we go somewhere Ignacio guesses where we are going. Yesterday his guess was, "to ride zebras..." Sorry to disappoint you honey, just going to auntie's house.

He can say the ENTIRE abc's!!!!!

He knows almost all his books by heart...(he has over 50 of them) and can finish sentences as you read at night to him.

He knows all his colors and when he colors in his coloring books has started staying in the lines and assigning the appropriate color to the object...example...grass is green, cookie monster is blue. Where did my "outside of the box" boy go?

He spontaneously says to me during the day, "Love you" to which I respond, "Love you too."

Tricks

Emilio is three weeks and changes are coming fast! Here are his latest tricks:

He is on the brink of smiling. He used to just smile when sleeping but he has started to smile a little bit while awake.

He is getting fatter...rolls have appeared on his legs, wrists and neck.

He has developed little dimples on his fingers, elbows and cheeks.

He is trying to focus when looking at things and is going cross eyed in the attempt. Still cute!

He is much more vocal with more little cooing sounds. He is gaining his voice!

He is such a sweetheart and we are so happy to have him as part of our family.