Sleepover

Sometimes during the week the boys and I have a "sleepover" which mean we all pile into the King Size bed and snuggle in.  Yesterday was one of those days.  The boys requested I be in the middle, which I begrudgingly took although I knew in twenty minutes I would have to go to the bathroom and would have to find my way out of the bed.  Angel Ignacio pressed his back into mine because he knows it relieves some of the pressure from the pregnancy and Emilio was practically on top of me snuggled in.  Within five minutes Ignacio was out.  I could feel his little twitches; a sure tell sign he was off and dreaming.  Emilio took a little longer but was soon breathing in a steady rhythm and becoming the little hot pocket he does when he sleeps.  I, of course was in between them like the ham in a ham sandwich.  I just took a moment for gratitude.  What a blessing to be with my boys every day; to watch them grow.  There was no where in the world I would rather be.  No board room, or session, or meeting.  I was meant to be right there; at a sleepover in the middle of the day with the sun pouring in the window onto us. 

Take that!

Today Ignacio came to my tummy to say hello to the baby.  He put his mouth on my belly and started talking.  "Hola bebe hermanito!! Quieres jugar?" (Hello baby brother!! Want to play??)  All of a sudden the baby kicked his chin!  We laughed so hard.  He then put his mouth back on my belly and said the same thing and, sure enough, the baby kicked his face again.  He called Angel at work to tell him.  He was so excited and felt so special.  He then went back to playing and said, "He is looking for a best friend."  I looked at him and said, "You are going to be a great one."

Meant To Be

Baby number three is a boy!!  We found out at our ultrasound and we are so excited.  Thankfully everything looked great and the doctor says that the baby looks normal and healthy; two things that are absolute blessings.  The baby was moving around so much and at one point I had to get up and go to the bathroom to see if we could get him to move so she could see his heart.  Ultrasounds are amazing.  You can see in such detail all the little inner workings of the baby.  It made me think about grandma and how different her baby's life may have been had they known about his heart defect before he was born.  Angel was with me and it was so cool for him to see the baby, even if he has been feeling it for a couple of weeks.  We got it on tape when we told the boys it was a boy.  Ignacio said that they could now be the Boy Scouts and Emilio followed up by saying they could be a "superhero squad."  They both had smiles ear to ear.  We went out to eat to celebrate and I couldn't stop smiling for hours. 

I have imagined this baby being a boy, partly because I am so used to boys it only made sense it would be boy, but also because I wanted it to be a boy.  Before getting pregnant for the first time I wondered what I would ever do with a boy.  Coming from a household with all women, the thought of parenting a penis was odd.  Then Ignacio came and snuggled into my heart, followed by my little Emilio who has captured my full love and attention since the day he was born.  I love being a mommy to boys.  The relationship is so unique and special and even deeper and greater than I could have ever imagined.  There is a sense of security and safety that having boys brings me...maybe because boys adore their moms in Latino culture and take VERY good care of them. Sure, it would have been a blessing to have a girl.  There are such precious experiences that only a daughter can give you; this is true.  But I can honestly say I don't feel I am missing out.  I am not crying over never buying a prom dress or never watching Angel walk her down the aisle.  In some ways, to be perfectly honest, I am relieved.

And there are benefits to having three boys.  For instance, they can all go to the bathroom together, share clothes, fight over the same girl, have boy time with Angel, share a room and develop a band of brotherhood that, with a girl in the mix, would have left her a little left out. And so the journey continues.  What will he look like?  Who will he look like? How will our family adjust?  How will the boys be with a baby brother? How will their personalities be alike or different? So much to unfold.  For now we are thankful to God for the opportunity for a new addition to our family.  He was worth the wait and there is no doubt he was meant to be. 

Disbanded

Ignacio returned home on Wednesday and informed me that the "Girl Scouts" have officially been disbanded by the teachers at school.  A decision was reached that their group was disruptive to class and was hurtful to other kids.  Ignacio then made me a promise to not form a group called the "Boy Scouts."  Little does he know they already exist and are also, ironically, led by a bunch of bullies....especially if you happen to be a gay kid.  Things are looking up and he is "back to normal" in the classroom.  This whole thing of releasing your kids into the world sure is an anxiety provoking endeavour for me as a mom. But I trust that our family is strong enough and safe enough for our kids to land softly and safely when the world gets a little rough.