Death and Dying 101

My sensitive soul has encountered the concept of death and it has been a challenging week. Call it a rite of passage. After coming across a dead squirrel, a dead bird and a dead cricket all in a few days, the questions started coming.

Do all animals die? Do all people die? Do we only die when we are old? Do you die when you get white hair? Are you going to die today? Is Papa going to die? Are we going to die together? Do I have to keep you from dying? What happens to our bodies when we die? Will I have the same face? Will they put your body in the garbage like Uncle Chad put the bird in the garbage? Do I get to keep my necklace? Will you still give me kisses? WHY DO WE HAVE TO DIE?

On and on the questions come and on and on I am faced to really evaluate, "What do I think about death and dying?" While it would be easy to talk about a happy place that we all go where there is lots of candy and toys, I fight the urge. I feel a responsibility to provide simple and honest answers but also feel okay saying, "You know. I don't know the answer to that." What do I know and what can I share? I know that we are more than our bodies. That there is a part of us that lives on with those we love. Call it a spirit. Call it a soul. Call it most simply the love we have shared during our time on earth. I know that I will always be with Ignacio. In the way he treats himself. In the way he treats others. In his laughter and the things that most break his heart. I know that we will never really be apart.

First Day

Here he is. My preschooler!!!! Froggy lunchbox and Elmo backpack. Please notice the crocodile in his right hand. So Ignacio.

Playing with PlayDoh once we arrived. Emilio sat and the table too. It was kind of his first day too. At least we let him think that.

His cubby!!!

Walking into the building. Here is where I got a little teared up.

Ignacio insisted the boys be matching today. Here they are. They joys and loves of my life. Brother LOVE!!!

I woke up to Ignacio two inches from face asking, "Is today my first day of school????!!!!" Yes, indeed it was. After doing circles around the house while I got ready, he finally decided to use his excitement constructively and make a picture for his teacher. A purple whale. By 8:30am we were out the door and I was taking an insane number of pictures while he and Emilio ran circles around each other. He looked so little and yet so big at the same time. Rewind 12 hours and I was sighing as I packed his first lunchbox and wrote him his first love note. And now here he was, jumping out of the car as we arrived at preschool with that same lunchbox in tow. He ran to the top of the stairs in front of his school at put his fist to the air and exclaimed, "Listo para aprender!!! (Ready to Learn!!)" Okay, he's ready.

As we entered the school the energy was high and his teacher was there to greet him. After hanging up his jacket and backpack on his hook we made our way to the all-purpose room where all the parents and kids were gathered. How refreshing to hear a room full of kids speaking Spanish with little gold chains on and parents giving them directions that sounded eerily familiar to the way we instruct in our household. He jumped into PlayDoh and within minutes I felt it was time for me to go. After giving him my "Bendicion" (blessing) I made my way out with Emili0.

There it was. The moment I had been anticipating. The moment that, some days, never seemed would come. How did it feel? It felt natural and perfectly timed. I was ready. He was ready. I just don't know if the world is ready!

L.O.V.E.

Mama Ama with her two boys.

A trip out to the harbor on a beautiful afternoon. The family made our trip so special. From juice boxes to yummy meals it was such a special time.

SPIDER MAN!!!!!!

I knew it was going to be a good trip when I looked over to see Mama Ama holding a KitKat out to Emilio and saying, "Grandma...say Grandma." A little bribery never hurt! Within one day she had a sand box in her back room and a smile on her face. Watching my grandma parent my children brings me back to how she parented me. love. leniency. laughter. Ignacio feels a strong connection to her. Just another thing he and I now have in common.

More Manson Memories

So many memories made...Ignacio going down the slide alone, swimming to all the ladders, out to the raft and jumping in alone...sleeping upstairs alone in a bunkbed...the boys playing...the sound of little feet on the dock...the smell of the cottage...screaming at seeing the lake for the first time...eating popcicles...looking at albums...the babies playing...turtle hunting...walks...sunsets...the water...sweet, sweet, memores.

The babies. Need I say more?

What's in that bucket you ask? TURTLES!!!! Here we are after our hunting expedition.

Angel and Chad caught fish with the kids by putting bread in a net and waiting for the fish to come. It worked!

Here is me laying on the dock just one of the nights with a beautiful sunset. I take a picture every night I am at the cottage.

Another naked baby picture in the water at the steps of the cottage. Emilio was a little unsure of the water because it was pretty cold but he went swimming every day to keep up with his brother.

Our first trek into turtle territory. I was hesitant for Angel and I to take a 3 year old and a 1 year old in a canoe but we didn't tip over. Give a kid a net and he really thinks he's doing something!

Every morning we went for a walk to pick up sticks, look for animals and enjoy the silence. First order of business was finding flowers for the Virgin.

The boys spent a good deal of time in the sandbox and, while I don't have very many memories of playing in it, I am sure I was there too at their age. One of the days a toad popped out of the sand as Ignacio was playing. Surprise! Please note Emilio's camera smile. He can do it on cue now.