Tonight is similiar to this night three years ago. I am sitting in my kitchen for one. It is quiet...that's number two. I am in my pajamas. But on this night, three years ago, I was stuffing fried chicken and grapes in my mouth at the kitchen table between contractions as Angel nervously paced our entire condominium about 100 times. Yes, tomorrow at 7:07pm my first little baby entered into this world. It is crazy to sit here now and imagine being in labor until tomorrow night but, I could make a list of ALL the crazy things I have been able to do since becoming a mom. 36 hours of labor was just the beginning. Ignacio is turning three and I stood in the decorations aisle at Toys R Us for 5 minutes trying to decide between Sesame Street or Thomas the Train plates for his party. It doesn't seem like a big deal but the decision enveloped the paradox of Ignacio turning three...not a toddler who loves Elmo and not yet a preschooler who adores train sets. This is the anniversary of the eve. The eve of becoming a mother...of learning what it means to love so deeply and unconditionally. To understand suffering and joy to depths I personally never knew even existed. So tonight on the three year anniversary of the eve I tell myself again, "Push, Katrina, Push. You can do this." The world was about to change with Ignacio's arrival...it just didn't know it yet...and neither did I.

A night in the life...

A night in the life of a mommy (and in "night" I am referring to last night and in "mommy" I am referring to me).

8:00pm Quiet house...Angel and I finally having a conversation about our day.
8:20pm Ignacio wakes up crying and I go it to lay with him.
8:30pm Ignacio is in our bed.
9:00pm Ignacio wakes up wailing with a cough and runny nose all over. Vicks applied. Boogers wiped.
10:00pm Ignacio wakes up again requesting we remove his socks...socks removed.
12:00am Angel comes to bed. Ignacio up coughing. We make warm milk with honey.
1:00am Ignacio up talking about dinosaurs and the sort. We have no idea.
2:30am Emilio wakes up crying. He is burning up. Temp at 104.2.
2:32am Motrin given and I wake Angel up who freaks out at the temp.
2:40am Applying cold wet rags to Emilio's body.
2:45am On the phone with the nurse line.
2:50am Ignacio wakes up and comes walking into Emilio's room.
3:00am Ignacio returned back to his room and Emilio is wide awake.
3:15am Angel takes Emilio and I lay down with Ignacio who is awake again.
4:12am Angel brings Emilio back in our room...he is wide awake.
4:20am I am in with Emilio and he nurses but stays awake....we spend some time looking at each other.
4:30am I cut a deal with Angel that we will take shifts sleeping with Emilio in his room. He goes to be with Emilio.
5:30am Angel comes in the room...Emilio woke up.
5:45am Emilio finally falls asleep in my arms...I lay on the floor with him cradled in my arms.
6:30am Ignacio wakes up ready for the day as if nothing happened last night.
6:45am Emilio wakes up.
6:46am We are all up.

Turns out that Ignacio checked out "okay" at the clinic. Emilio, poor baby has double ear infections. So miserable. My little one. Angel and I are exhausted but we should have one more hard night and then we should be on the mend. I, amazingly am feeling fine. MOMMY POWER! (knock on wood)

Sucky Sicky

They (Angel, Ignacio and Emilio) are all sick. Question: What is harder that having sick kids? Answer: Having sick kids and a sick husband. No back-up for mommy! Runny noses, fevers, coughs oh my! I myself am hanging in there...taking vitamins and supplements like they are going out of style. Good thing we did our Thanksgiving shopping last night. I have to go back now to wiping noses, pressing palms to warm foreheads and giving magic hugs that "make it all better." They don't sell THAT in a pharmacy.

Up, Up, Up

Emilio is no longer my little baby nor is he a big boy so I am choosing to call him my big baby. In the last couple of days he has pulled to standing and he is crawling like it is nobody's business. Oh, and he is cutting his FOURTH tooth on top. That will make a total of SIX teeth and he just turned 8 months. He is the apple of auntie's eye and when she is around his little feet don't touch the ground because he finds his spot on her hip as she carries him around the whole day...as Ignacio chases after her saying, "Auntie, look at this!!!!!"

Ignacio has been more sensitive lately...first a bout with really hard stuttering and then meltdown after meltdown (today it was that he couldn't have a yellow popcicle) and tesing limits like crazy. I noticed tonight that both Angel and I have intuitively brought him in closer, or as Krissy says, "brought him under our wings." I slept with him in our bed for nap this week and Angel spends extra time at night snuggling him. I think it works. A little love never hurts.

On your mark...

Our little baby boy is crawling! On Tuesday he crawled over to Ignacio as we sat on the bedroom floor and now he will move his little legs with all his might to get to mama. Oh, and he is talking way more...as long as Ignacio isn't around. I told Angel the other night that he is probably going to be the kind of kid we have to make sure to spend alone time with to know what is going on with him because, as long as big brother's around he won't get a word it edge wise. I wonder if that's how Krissy has felt her whole life? Maybe I should apologize!

A grunting affair

Ignacio doesn't want me to watch him when he has to go "number two" which I find totally understandable. I mean, really, who does? What he does want to do however is talk to me. No surprise there. So I stand outside of the door or have to turn around. We have been having very interesting conversations between grunts. Some days he likes to talk about the pooping experience as it is happening. Is it a big poop or a small poop? Did it hurt when he pushed it out? Does he have more coming out? Yesterday after a red-faced grunt he said, "I love you." I told him I loved him too...poop and all.

And can I just say I am in a massive love affair with Emilio? Tonight it was just the two of us in the house and I just watched him watch things. My chest filled with a sensation that can only be described as pure love. I love the way he crosses his little feet...the way his belly sticks out when he is sitting...the way he lifts his eyebrows when he pays close attention to something. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him and I have made my promise to him to always keep him safe and happy with everything in my power.