Iphone4

Ignacio has found my cracked iPhone 4 and decided it's his. I noticed on our walk today he had it in his back pocket. You can't take pictures, it has no phone service and the screen is broken but apparently that doesn't matter to a seven year old who is aching to grow up. 

Oh yea

Oh yea.  Santiago turned two in July. I guess what they say is true...the third sometimes gets left behind, even on blogs. From what I remember the day was beautiful, friends and family came bearing tremendous love and my children behaved like saints. Happy birthday to Bam Bam, our extroverted, smart, loving and spunky Santiago. 

Fab Five

Our little Emilio turned five and it was a pretty exciting time. We have been counting down for months. Literally months. This was his cake design this year. Mama Ama was smiling down from heaven for sure. 

We had a small birthday party with the cousins. They ran, played, ate and went to the park. He had a blast. 

These two. Love them. 

At school they celebrated him as well. Apparently when it's your birthday you "get to be first in line!" LOL

Aunt Kath came for four days to spend some time with the birthday boy. Emilio was over the moon. Days were spent doing what we usually do when aunt Kathy is in town. There was lots of playing and running and eating and laughing. She even got to go on the birthday excursion to Chucky Cheese. 

He received a lot of Legos for gifts. Here is one on the sets he completed. He is so talented when it comes to building. It's actually really exciting to see him work. 

All in all he had a wonderful, special birthday. Five is a big one! Next year will be school. I'm cherishing these long days with him; so thankful for the opportunity to raise him and experience him to the nth degree. I am quickly learning these days are numbered. Happy Birthday to my beautiful boy. You have taught me much more than I have you. Love you. 

Keeping up...

Ignacio took downhill skiing lessons for the first time this winter. It also gave mommy a chance to sit and take a break in the chalet every Sunday.  

Santiago's current favorite activity is to take every single book out of the bookshelf and put it on the floor. Unfortunately he has no interest in putting them back. 

Boy are these two going to miss each other next year when Emilio goes to kindergarten all day. 

Sometimes you need to eat soup with slippers on. 

The new morning routine is that Santiago sits at the table with his two big brothers to eat his breakfast. For only being one and a half years old he actually does pretty good. After papa and Ignacio leave for the morning mommy makes him another round of breakfast. 

Spring boots. 

If you say you "Ewwww" this is what he does. 

Emilio certainly has his own sense of style. 

Two months without a TV and we are all surviving. This was last Friday when we had to resort to shadow puppets for entertainment. 

Us

Let it be...

Today in our living room I had what I feel to be a spiritual moment. As I was doing my morning yoga practice, I found myself moving into child's pose without even thinking or consciously making the choice. It is always a restorative pose for me that makes me feel the most grounded. I'll move myself into child's pose in the file room at work if the spirit moves me and I feel like it's where I need to be after a challenging session. It wasn't until I was in child's pose today that I realized that a song was playing in the background in our house which was the same song I listened to shortly after the first miscarriage. Back in 2012, I sat in my car in an empty parking lot listening to the words of this particular song and feeling the flood of emotions take over me. The sadness, the grief, the overwhelming feeling of loss and despair. Today my body intuitively moved me to child's pose when the same song started playing. As I felt the weight of my forehead against the carpet and allowed my body to relax, I was immediately conscious of the kids playing around me in the living room as I was doing my practice. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and felt an overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude for the noise and chaos and small feet pitter pattering around me at that exact moment. Gratitude for my three beautiful boys and for all that my life has become. All that felt so distant as I sat in my car that cold day in 2012 was suddenly filling my space and my heart today. And I took it all in. All of it. And let it be. 

Merry Christmas 2014

This year we decided to do Christmas a little bit different. We packed up the car and headed three hours north to a beautiful cabin in the woods. It has become a very special place for our family. This is now the third year we've been there but the first year we have gone for Christmas. We stayed for a little bit over a week and laughed, relaxed and truly enjoyed our time. What made it even more special was that some dear friends were able to rent a cabin right next to us and spend some of the week making memories. It just goes to show you that you can never be exactly certain where life will take you. 

Our little Emilio was very loving while on vacation. Every day we were showered with kisses and hugs. He was pretty excited to be in the woods and was maybe trying to earn extra credit points knowing that Santa was possibly coming in a few days. LOL

The boys spent most of their days doing art. Thanks to Ignacio's birthday package of art supplies to last a lifetime from aunt Kathy and uncle Vern they were able to keep themselves pretty busy. They made and cut out elves that were hiding all over the cabin and even managed to make a few Christmas stories of their own. 

And it's always good to spend time with this guy. Late nights of snuggling by the fireplace and making big plates of nachos were pretty special. 

And of course the kids loved playing outside. The cabin faced a big patch of woods and had three doors to go out to the backyard. Quite a change from our 900 ft.² condo on the ninth floor. There were plenty of nature hikes and looking for animal tracks. Ignacio also says that he saw Bigfoot. While there are no pictures as proof he is pretty adamant. 

And then there's the pools. Every day included swimming and running and splashing, which helped the kids get their energy out. I was amazed that they even had the energy after being outside all day and staying up late. The adults even got some time in the hot tub. The resort has a couple of different pools, so the kids had fun trying to decide where to swim. 

Veronica fit in naturally with our family. Just enough girl for me to have fun making bracelets, making up dance routines and watching girl shows and just enough boy to enjoy  roughhousing. Such a warm love bug. 

Sunday was determined to get to the park. The first couple of days we were there there were a couple of inches of snow but as the temperatures warmed up we could see the grass. 

While we didn't have a Christmas tree this year, I snuck in some Christmas lights and while the boys were at the pool I decorated the cabin. This artificial ficus tree became our Christmas tree. Of course the boys decorated it. I even put lights in their bedroom so that they could sleep in the glow of rainbow colors!

Headed out for some exploratory time. The kids thought it was so cool they could go in and out of front and back door and go out by themselves. Then when you add the fact that they could go between cabins by themselves...they really felt cool. We got a kick out of watching them proudly put on their jackets and boots and say, "I'll be right back!"

And the downtime to read and relax by the fire place was so sacred. Every day mommy got to take a nap and got some alone time to recharge. 

Soon enough Christmas Eve was upon us and the families made a huge traditional Venezuelan meal. Everything turned out so delicious and it was so easy with all the help between the adults. I think that was what was so great about the vacation. Although we did a lot of things, there was really no work involved. Things just came really easy. 

After dinner I gathered everybody around the fireplace to read "mouse in the manger." The kids love the story and it's become a solid tradition in our family. I just smiled and laughed as the kids protested the fact that we had to read the story before opening gifts. I remember thinking and feeling the same thing. But I held my ground because I think it's really important and I remember back when I was little that having to wait made me really appreciate and think about and reflect what Christmas is really about. It wasn't about eating and then tearing gifts open. It was about sitting in reflecting through a story about the meaning of Christmas. That's what grandma always really wanted. Now that I am a mom I can see the importance of that. After the story was finished we exchange our gifts to the kids between families. Milk and cookies were left out by our ficus Christmas tree for Santa the next morning and little eyes were shut as pillows held tired heads. 

And can you believe it Santa found his way to our cabin?! Here the kids are with all the gifts that Santa had left by the fireplace. They must've done a really good job this year because they got everything on their lists. Emilio was especially relieved because he was pretty anxious the weeks leading up to Christmas that he hadn't quite fulfilled his obligation to do good listening. But he got his triple track and his gum and his T-shirt and boardgame and robot dinosaur. It was all waiting there for them in the morning at 6 o'clock after having only slept for 4 1/2 hours. 

Christmas day was filled with alternating naps between the adults and the kids playing with all of their new toys. We had enough food left over to feed a small village so the fact we didn't have to cook, which was pretty nice. 

The Cisneros and Acurero families. 

We even had a chance to go down to the lobby of the resort where there was a life size Santa who sang Christmas carols. We spent a good half hour they're singing back to back song for anyone who would listen. 

Merry Christmas from the Cisneros family. Now we look forward to New Year's Eve when we will do it all over again. A gathering of friends and family, traditional Venezuelan meal and celebration and the comfort of being with those you care about the most. The only downside is that I can't listen to Christmas music 24 hours a day seven days a week anymore. But you only really appreciate things when you have an opportunity to experience their absence for sometime.