Happy Easter

Easter egg hunts in the rain, the bunny coming to hide baskets brimming with jelly beans and Peeps, ham, solemn Good Friday mass, dressing up in uncomfortable clothes (nylons?!?...ughhh), coloring eggs with vinegar solutions...just some of the magical fun this time of year for us. The boys have been enjoying the festivities and even left carrots out for the Easter bunny. I love doing things for them that bring so much excitement and joy. I can feel my heart expand when it happens. So much grace and love this year at Easter. Thank you God. 

It's not that I wanted to let go. It's that it was too painful to hold on anymore. The hands heal but the hole just gets bigger. 

Tidbits...

Emilio helping me Spring clean. He actually did a really good job. He's somewhat of a perfectionist. 

After a two day meditation retreat I watch Santiago with awe. Here he is seeing a pineapple for the first time. Totally in the present moment. No thinking, comparing or liking or disliking. Just experiencing. Beautiful. Life is pure joy this way. 

The boys spent a morning writing a list of items and measuring them. Emilio made the list. So did I and the couch. FYI the couch won. 

Trying to move mountains during a Sunday hike. Ignacio and I can do anything together. 

It doesn't get much better than this. A snuggle morning in bed with these guys! Angel was on a business trip so we just laid low and stayed in our jammies until late in the morning;)

Emilio David

Emilio David...one of a kind. His preschool picture cracks me up big time. When I'm having a bad day I look at it. His school conference wielded comments from his teacher such as, "He is very sure of himself" and "He is autonomous."  Sounds like my Emilio. He is doing wonderfully and we are too. 

In his wake...

I guess you could say he is curious. 

Trying

Parenting can be really hard. Trying to forgive is hard, especially forgive yourself. Last night was one of those nights you wish you could have a do over. You question your parenting to the n'th degree, scrutinizing yourself for your apparent shortcomings and trying to see the silver lining of the situation; no matter how dim. You worry and wring your hands. You rewind and fast word your relationship with your kids in your head a million times. Then you get exhausted, burnt out. And you realize you can't change what already happened and you can't predict all that is to come. All you can do is look into little eyes, give tight embraces, and give kisses to the tops of heads so long you could get lost in the moment forever. You could stay there in that spot for eternity. But then the hands of the clock move and there are teeth to brush and prayers to be said and the routine lifts you back to the now. It's time to say goodnight. Maybe it's just me but I find solace in the thought there just may be another conscious parent on another comfy couch caught up in the same current. 

Moving

He's moving, he's sitting up, he's babbling while he does it, he's adorable.