Trying

Parenting can be really hard. Trying to forgive is hard, especially forgive yourself. Last night was one of those nights you wish you could have a do over. You question your parenting to the n'th degree, scrutinizing yourself for your apparent shortcomings and trying to see the silver lining of the situation; no matter how dim. You worry and wring your hands. You rewind and fast word your relationship with your kids in your head a million times. Then you get exhausted, burnt out. And you realize you can't change what already happened and you can't predict all that is to come. All you can do is look into little eyes, give tight embraces, and give kisses to the tops of heads so long you could get lost in the moment forever. You could stay there in that spot for eternity. But then the hands of the clock move and there are teeth to brush and prayers to be said and the routine lifts you back to the now. It's time to say goodnight. Maybe it's just me but I find solace in the thought there just may be another conscious parent on another comfy couch caught up in the same current.