Ignacio

My Angel Ignacio. My heart. Ignacio is doing so well. He continues to be bright and beautiful. His habit of waking up between 530 and 630 in the morning is really paying off now that school is started. He is up early to take a shower and is ready for the day. This all occurs usually before any of us are even up! Angel takes him to school every morning and they really enjoy their time together even though the school is only four blocks away. At school conferences the teacher said that Ignacio is already meeting the academic goals for May. While most kids are learning their vowels, Ignacio is already reading books. The teacher's working to make him a leader while in big groups and then giving him special work to make sure he's challenged. We don't want this little boy to get bored! 

What's even more special is watching him become a big brother all over again. He loves Santiago and Santiago really loves Ignacio! Both really light up when they see each other!! I love watching the magic happen. His relationship with Emilio continues to be strong and I think we have turned the corner since starting school. He was coming home pretty tired and moody and taking it out on little Emilio but things have been better the last couple of weeks. Ignacio had a lot of changes in a short amount of time but he seems to be handling it well. 

And, to top it all off, my little boy, my firstborn will be six years old November 29th!!! I can hardly believe it. What a beautiful blessing he has been to our lives.

 

Technology

Good news! I now have an app on my phone so I can blog without needing a computer!!  This will allow me to keep things up-to-date much easier, especially seeing as we don't have a laptop anymore. So now where do I begin? How about an update on each kid? Posts on each of the little boys to follow!

First

It seems like just yesterday I was locking eyes with you for the first time.  It seems like just yesterday I put you to my chest for the first time.  It seems like yesterday I changed your first diaper and wiped your first runny nose.  It seems like just yesterday that I held your entire little body on mine all through the night.  It seems like just yesterday your little finger wrapped around mine and the tears came.  You are big now.  You are bright now.  You are headed on a new adventure that has nothing to do with locking eyes, holding on or snuggling in.  You are about to fly.  To see new things in a big, big world.  To open your hands wide to catch all that is amazing in them.  Always know, that no matter what, you are loved.  You are loved so very much.  You are cherished and loved and seen and believed in.  You are mine and now you are the world's.  Good luck in Kindergarten my first baby.  You are going to fly.

Santiago Angel Cisneros

Big and healthy. That's how we make them for sure!!

And then there were five...

On July 26th, 2013 at 4:07am Santiago was born.  Today is August 26th, 2013 at 10:10am and I am finally blogging.  Where do I even begin?  Labor?  So many false starts this time!  Is this it? No. Is this it? No. Then finally the contractions started coming around 3pm and continued pretty regular.  By 6pm I was calling the hospital and by 7pm I was sitting on the hallway floor unable to get up.  The boys were putting there hands between my legs and stating that they were "ready to help."  We tried to call Miguel and he finally came.  Contractions were strong and regular and I cried as we left the boys but felt good knowing Casey was on her way to take over. On the way we missed the turn to the hospital.  Good Lord.  You would think that wouldn't happen the third time around! As we arrived Angel parked the car and then I was wheeled rather quickly by a nice man who brought me to Labor and Delivery.  Nothing better than seeing Amy Knox's face, the midwife who has been with us through thick and thin.  What are the chances?  As now acting supervisor she is only on call one day a month.  Amazing.  She checked me and I was at 5cm.  Into the birthing tub!! There I stayed for over three hours.  One contraction at a time.  Taking it slow.  Feeling like floating.  Trying to relax.  Let me just say...that is impossible in active labor.  At 11pm I hadn't eaten in 12 hours and was feeling week.  At that point I requested an epidural and made my way out of the tub.  The next 1/2 hour was horrible.  They made me go to the bathroom....OUCH!!  Then I had to get an IV...OUCH they blew the vein.  Then I had to wait for to get hydrated...OUCH big contractions.  Angel was right there.  Forehead to forehead with me.  The guy finally comes to do the epidural and at this point I don't even care.  All of a sudden Angel turns white and starts falling back.  Extra staff is called in and they sit him down.  Nurses rush in and the guy finishes the epidural and then heads over to be with Angel.  I am scared.  What is wrong???? They get him juice and lay him down in a bed next to me.  The nurses say this is common.  I am worried.  Then it is all over.  Angel has color, I don't have pain.  Beautiful.  I suddenly feel guilty for leaving all the discomfort to the baby.  I am told to sleep...yea right.  With a numb body, blood pressure cuff and IV that is NOT going to happen.  The hours pass and my water breaks.  I thank the gods I have an epidural...that is when it really get intense!  I labor down for over an hour.  Amy check me and the head is there.  She goes to deliver another baby and comes back.  Time to push.  I start to cry. This is it.  The moment I have dreamt of.  The baby on my chest.  Alive. Breathing. Okay.  Through all the losses, all the fear and all the bravery this was it.  I only pushed for a few minutes and his head came out.  Full head of swirling black hair.  Wet and beautiful.  The tears come some more.  My baby boy.  My love.  Come to me.  He started wiggling his own head as if to birth himself.  The midwives laugh.  I look up and notice all the nurses have left there posts to come and support me. Amy is crying.  She knows.  She knows the back story, the under current and the meaning behind the meaning.  And then he is here.  Big and beautiful and here.  On my chest.  He is here.  Welcome Santiago.  I love you.  I always have. 

Me and You

Been through so much
Made it this far
Long road behind us
No longer a star

The miracle inside me
The life that you bring
Perfect perfection
Closed tight like a ring

Come my sweet baby
Your time's almost here
Bring all that you've got
There is nothing to fear

Trust and Love

It is mid July and we are waiting for the newest little baby to join our family.  Weekly prenatal appointments have been great, baby is great and we are in the final countdown.

I find myself pulled between wanting and needing to rest and wanting and needing to soak up the last moments with my two boys.  I got like this with Ignacio right before Emilio was born too.  So sentimental.  So we have been doing summer the way summer is to be done...pools (you should see big mama get OUT of the pool), parks (I tend to sit on the bench furthest from the park so no other moms ask me questions), picnics (okay so yesterday we had it on their bedroom floor..but it was 90 degrees out), zoo, strawberry picking (Angel pulled me in a wagon out to the patch after the sweet little lady advised us it was 1/2 mile away and no cars allowed), sweet corn, concerts in the park, late night ice cream (mint chocolate chip PLEASE), bug spray, Tball, bike rides and sunscreen.  Have I pushed myself...maybe.  But I won't look back with any regrets that I spent my summer laying on the couch getting bigger by the minute.  My boys are so precious and these days and moments have been even more precious.

Angel and I have been enjoying our evenings also.  Taking in the last chances, for awhile at least, to lay on the couch at night and do nothing.  No baby to nurse, no bouncing to do and no baby crying.  We know the next three years are going to be crazy.  We know we will look at each other and wonder what the hell we did to ourselves at times.  But we also know it will have the most spectacular moments you could ever hope for.

I am trying to enjoy the last feelings of pregnancy.  The restless evening movements that eventually turn into the baby getting the hiccups and the elbows and knees that come flying out of my stomach like it is a sci-fi movie.  The baby is so sweet.  So playful and I can hardly wait to meet him.  What will he look like? What color hair will he have? How will labor go? How will our family adjust?  So many questions!

For now I pray for strength, patience and wisdom as we move through the next few days...well, let's face it...the next few years.  I know I have the strength and wisdom of my grandma who has been my angel this whole journey.  Trust and Love...Trust and Love.