In the still of the night

It is 3am and I hear him. It starts with a whimper and slowly escalates to a small cry. I usually can't tell if I awake because I hear him or if I awake because I sense his awakeness. I roll over and look at the clock. 3:03am. I skillfully find my slippers with my feet in the dark and make my way to the bedroom door. It is amazing how quickly I can become fully alert after deep sleep. As I make my way into Ignacio's room I slowly bring the lights up, just enough to catch a glimpse of his big brown eyes. As I scoop him up he is warm and sleepy. I gently shhh him with my voice as I make my way to the rocker in his room. As I sit down he becomes more alert, looking up at me briefly in the dim light of the room. As I feed him his little hand moves up to my mouth then down my chest as I bring the blanket around his little toes. His eyes stay closed as he snuggles in. When he has had his fill I slowly bring him to my shoulder and he nestles in, managing to find his spot. I wrap the blanket around his little warm body and rock. All logic would say that it is time for my head to return to my pillow and to continue dreaming but the closeness and quietness keeps me there, sometimes for longer than I even expect. He is still. He is mine. When I have had my fill I slowly stand up and place him back in his crib. He rolls to his side and drifts back off to the world he was in before his little tummy woke him up with hunger. I shuffle my way back to my room feeling just as full with love.