Ways you know your little baby is turning into a big boy:

1. He has grass stains and holes in his jeans.
2. He says "boobie" in reference to nursing. Oh no!
3. His size 7 sandals that we bought two weeks ago already almost don't fit.
4. He has hair growing on his legs.
5. He can tell you with words when he is hurt, tired, hungry and thirsty. FINALLY!

LOVE

I remember the day Angel received the call. He was offered the job at Cargill. I remember it because it was like three out of the four chambers of my heart rejoiced at the thought of not being home alone with a seven month old insomniac four days a week. And the fourth chamber? The fourth chamber went straight to the question, "Who will take care of Ignacio?" As I paused in silence the answer came swiftly, "Someone who loves him."

As I sat in my office, my feet propped up on the desk after pumping between sessions, I chatted with my sister on the phone. What was I going to do? Would I stay home? What about daycare? By then end of the ten minute conversation an agreement between sisters was made. She would watch him. Why? Because she loves Ignacio. My heart smiled; all four chambers.

I also remember the first day I dropped him off. Krista had already designed a blog, soon to be the envy of fellow working moms at my office, so I could check-in from work. The play room was set up and Addison was small but waiting. As I set the milk I had so diligently pumped for the day in the refrigerator, I took a deep breath. It was going to be okay. As I kissed Ignacio on the top of his head as I said goodbye I felt the sadness well deep in my chest, making its way quickly to release in the form of tears from my eyes. As I looked up at Krista she didn't try to make it better or change the script that was written in my heart. She let the moment be, with tears in her eyes too.

And so the journey began. There was the routine stuff, like pulling up the driveway of the house with Ignacio's hands flailing in the backseat with excitement, eating breakfast with Addison as Ignacio got all the music toys going at the same time, my eyes on the clock so I wouldn't be late for work, and finding a face of exhaustion after all the fun he'd had at the end of the day. And there was the not-so-routine stuff, like the first time Ignacio said "auntie" and watching Addison and Ignacio learn to dance together, give each other "besitos" and learn to share and not swat.

As I scurried between sessions at work I never once worried about Ignacio. I always knew that he was safe, cherished, seen and heard. I knew this because the person taking care of him loved him. She had a relationship with him and, more importantly, has one of the strongest relationships in the world with me.

And so the journey ends this week, almost one year later. Many things have changed. Ignacio now picks his toys to bring to Auntie's and walks himself to door. His lunches come in Ziplock bags, Tupperware and an adult lunch bag. There have been days I haven't been able to get out Krista's house fast enough, eager for the 25 minutes of solace as I drove to work by myself, and days that I have struggled to leave, even after months of dropping him off.

But one thing has not changed...love. I am forever grateful to Krista and Addison for sharing their days with Ignacio along with their patience, wisdom and kindness. You have both helped to raise my baby boy and for that there are no other words but, from the bottom of all four chambers of my heart, "I love you."

1.5

Ignacio is one and a half years old! For his "half-birthday" mama and Ignacio packed a yummy picnic and went to two parks and went swimming in one lake and one pool. To mark the occassion papa attempted his first official commute to work on his bike (a '77 Schwin), which he achieved! (It's like 24 miles one way people) In just six months I will be sitting hear talking about my two year old toddler and all that he brings to my life, but for now he is still my baby boy whose butt looks small in diapers and who still teeters around babbling. He can still get away with throwing his snack crackers around the living room rug and intentially tipping his sippy cup upside down as to create a puddle which he quickly sticks his feet in. The word "no" is acquiring more meaning as he equates it with meaning the opposite of "yes".

We experienced our first "night terrors" with Ignacio last week and, let me tell you it is something freaky. I was about to pray a rosary and you all know how long its been since that has happened! After researching them the next night I realized we did everything wrong like try to hold him, attempt to comfort him and say his name. I guess the hugging him while singing his name prolonged the fiasco. Good news...he won't remember it...bad news...he will if he goes to regression therapy.

This is my last week of working during the day and I am about to embark on a new adventure along with Ignacio, Addison and Krista. All of our weeks are about to look very different with me staying at home full-time with Ignacio. We are all connected in such a special way that I am sure not much will change... except I won't leave two crying boys plastered up against the bay window at Krista's watching me as I hop into my car and ask myself, "Why am doing this again?" Although I am sure I will ask myself that question a million more times in a million more ways in my life.

Sacrifice

What can an MBA say about a man? I can tell you what it says about Angel. It says he has the unlimited capacity to take enormous challenges and chances not for himself, but for our family. It says he can stay up all night patiently with a fussy newborn and write a paper the next day. It says he can make sacrifices to achieve his dream without ever making his family that sacrifce. It says he can be exhausted and frustrated but never an exhausted and frustrated husband or father. It says that he is strong, but most importantly, WE are strong.

Precious Moments

Papa has big shoes to fill, in more ways than one!

Family in Panama can't be at the table with him so looking at their picture is the next best thing.

Calculators can be phones too; can't they?

What do 350 Q-tips look like on the bathroom floor? Take a look.

Priceless

Time it takes to run to Walgreens for Sour Patch Kids: 15 minutes

Cost of gas to make the trip: $0.16

Sale price of the candy: $1.00

The look on your kid's face when they put it in their mouth: Priceless

Put it back.

For months I have been saying, "Put it back" as I clean things up with the eternal hope that Ignacio would soon grasp the concept of kindly cleaning up after himself. I sweetly imagine the day when I no longer trail behind him all day breaking my tender back picking up everything he throws, drops, drags and moves. Whether it is toilet paper strewn about the bedroom floor or plastic blocks dancing down the hallway, mommy has been eager for Ignacio to grasp the developmental ability to "put it back!"

Well, the day has nearly arrived and then some. I am slowly finding that Ignacio is somewhat of a "neat freak" now that he is able to "put it back" and here is a video to prove it. Notice he only has one shoe on because the video was shot as he approached the shoe rack to find his other one, only to notice that things were quite in disarray. Oh no, it could not be. Notice at the end of the video when he pushed the shoe so it is in line with the other!

He has quite an eye and is making mommy (a self-proclaimed neat freak) proud. Nothing like passing on your anxious tendencies to your child! Hopefully when he is older he is able to have guests unexpectently stop by without nearly having a panic attack because the house isn't perfect or relax and enjoy a day even when the kitchen floor is dirty and your socks stick to it. I hope I learn that some day too.